Growing up and migrating to abdoantics.co.za

So this has been the home of Abdoantics.wordpress.com  ever since that ‘fateful’ day I sat next to Therealjenty and was lamenting how it was so hard to keep up with family and friends all over the world. She suggested  I start a blog.

I’ve never looked back and love this space where I place my thoughts.

I have been REALLY REALLY quiet for the past 8 months. My new business Marketing Works has been flying but as a result everything personal hasn’t.

Meanwhile in the background I have been wanting to get our own domain. Which I did: http://www.abdoantics.co.za is now up and running and this is a note to say adieu.

This will be my last post here and from now you will be able to find us in our new home.

Thank you wordpress for serving us so well….. So as they say here in Ballito: Catch you on the flip side

 

2015 round up

I cannot believe that I’m writing my catch up for 2015 already!

The years just seem to go by faster and faster and coupled with the goings on in this household this year, we barely blinked and it was already December!

Let’s do a rewind and look at our year.

January was a bit of a blur. Having a baby will do that to one. Ironically though it wasn’t the said baby that was the reason, but more the three infections I got after my Caesar which saw me spending most of January on  Antibiotics. That coupled with the chaos of finishing off the house that we started building in October 2015 made Jan the way it was.

February was much the same and then March was just pure CHAOS!! We finally got the keys though to our beautiful home at the end of March.  What followed was two manic weeks as I tried to get the house in some sort of order before going back to work.

The week before I was due to go back to work, I found my nanny sleeping with the Kat in the rocking chair. That’s not the problem…… Problem was that Kat (14 weeks old)  was propped on a pillow with no support and the nanny nearly dropped her, when I woke her.  So I had to scramble and get Kat into crèche before starting work again.

I subsequently went through two nannies , both of whom were useless but at the end of May we found the most amazing lady, without whom I’m not sure I would’ve gotten through this year. Kat just adores her and she has really become part of our family.

I was barely back at work when we went up to Hluhluwe for a weekend with friends. Kat hadn’t been well but really just had a chest which id been to the Dr for, and no real other symptoms. Thank heavens her brother spiked a temp with full blown tonsillitis which landed us at the ER on Sunday evening. I say thank heavens, because had we not gone I wouldn’t have had the Dr check Kat out and found out she has had full blown Bronchial Pneumonia! That landed us in hospital for a week and then followed by me on round 4 of antibiotics straight after.

So April was hard and so much harder being back at work than I expected. I thought it would be easier but all the time my heart just ached to be with my babies.

My wish was kinda granted, just not in the way I expected when work dropped the bombshell and announced they were retrenching me. It was the end to a very cr@ppy two years there and I must commend my boss who was very clever in how he got rid of me. He did it over a period of 7 months and yes I may sound a little bitter, which I am, only because he got away with his behaviour, but I will say this again and again, they did me THE HUGEST FAVOUR EVER!

So I had no choice but to follow my dream and go on my own. Yes, it was somewhat expedited (by about 10 years) but I have not looked back. And so Marketing Works was born. I now work for myself and get to spend the time with my babies that I so desperately wanted.

My business is thriving which is such an amazing blessing considering the challenges I have faced from a time perspective.  We’ve had  a really tough year with Dan , who has hardly slept and also put us through our paces. One of the changes we made in August was to bring him home after school instead of sending him to aftercare. It was the right move, but put immense pressure on me as working from home in the afternoons is practically impossible with him around. This meant many a late nights to catch up with work and has also resulted in me getting an office in the New Year, which I’m very excited about.

So watch this space. I foresee great things happenings for Marketing Works in 2016!!

On the work front for Daddy Abs. He has really carried a big load at his work and worked LONG  LONG hours.  This has seen him missing out on a lot of the kids’ lives and we can only hope that things will settle down for him in the New Year.

The year was not all doom and gloom and was interspersed with a few weekends away and also a trip to East London in July to see Daddy’s Abs’s folks.

In August I got to go away for the first time in 4 years! (for pleasure that is) Went to Cape Town for a girls weekend. I can CATEGORICALLY STATE IT WAS THE FRIKKING BEST TIME OF MY LIFE!!! Made me realise how in desperate need I am of me time. We had the most amazing time just me and my two girlfriends. Already planning 2016’s trip!

 

 

The Ginger turned 4 in September and has really grown as a little person and in character….lots of it!! As I mentioned it has not been the most pleasant year with him and he really has challenged us….well mostly me. This has left me feeling really sucky as a mom and a feeling like a huge failure in that department, but I think with the changes I’m putting in place next year, I’m hoping to be able to be more present and enjoy my time with him, not trying to always split myself into 20.  He also had a tonsillectomy shortly after his 4^th birthday. 10 days of hell, but hopefully we’re done with the constants chest infections, temps and miz boy!!

The Kat turned 1 last week! I know right???? Ridiculous! She is not walking or crawling…..she has totally missed the crawling memo and bum shuffles, it really is cute. She has been an absolute breeze and I’m still waiting for it to change. (I know wait till she’s 13!!) I have absolutely adored every minute with her and watching her learn and discover.

 

 

 

 

Other than that it’s been a long working year for us and culminated in an all nighter last night to finish off.  So finished is what we are!

Plans for next year?

Daddy Abs and I are in desperate need of some Adult time away from the Kids. So we’ve found ourselves two really nice babysitters who we are going to be making good use of. Frightening what a babysitter cost’s per hour, but it definitely is needed.

We have also sat down and planned our holidays for next year so that Daddy’s Abs can make the most of his measly 15 days. I super keen to get into camping. Still working on Daddy though.

Also I have big plans for finally getting fit. I’m still the size of a whale and I can no longer say I’ve just had a baby! So I’m going to get back onto the road more regularly and lose this weight!!

The ginger goes into his second year at a “seahorse’ into Grade 00. Its hard to believe that the year after that he’s in ‘big’ school.

Kat will stay at home with Busi and will go to a little crèche in about April and will hopefully get offered a spot as a ‘Turtle’at school with Daniel the following year. Will be nice to have both kids at one school.

So to sum it up:  It’s been a year of learning, new beginnings, building new friendships and finally binning the hurtful and toxic ones. I am very positive for a great 2016!  I think it’s going to be a great year for the Abdo’s

So without further ado on this Christmas eve…… A very merry Christmas to you and your loved ones. May this be a really blessed time with Family and friends and may the coming year be filled with all you hoped and dreamed off.

Mommy Abs

xx

Me spinning in circles

I REALLY should be working…..I really should…….There is just so much going on at the moment that I’m feeling a little lost. I’m not in a really good space but also not in any position to change it……

It’s a whole host of things but most of it stems from my weight….which if I’m honest has always been a problem, except for when I ran comrades (NOTE: Was exercising) I’m as fat as ten pigs (yes yes so I’m still a 34…well parts of me) but for me I’m carrying 10kgs extra and I am not getting to the gym or any form of exercise for that fact. I’m working LONG hours and as a result the last thing I feel like after getting to bed post-midnight is exercising. Go during the day you may say, you work for yourself…. Can’t do that cos my day is already, halved due to Ginger being home, hence me having to work late hours…tis a vicious circle really.

And I tried banting for a good 3 weeks. Some will say that I didn’t give it a good go but believe you me I tried. Not a piece of fruit touched my lips, let alone any yoghurt and I lost barely anything. Plus I FELT AWFUL. So I’m back to just watching my eating. But that doesn’t help. I don’t have the time to sit and weigh portions or put together meal plans on only 3 hours sleep.

And then there’s coming to terms with the fact that I no longer have my sh”£!t together. I always had it together. Now I have an endless list of things that need to be done and that I NEVER get to. I’m now that mom that is  always doing things for Daniel and school on the last day its due. I hardly ever make my husband lunch and there are days when I get to 5pm and haven’t even thought about supper! I used to be a once a month shopper and now I am permanently at the shops and it irritates the living hell out of me, but I inevitably forget something everytime I go…..

Basically I seem to be spinning in circles and not going anywhere fast.

I feel so stretched thin where everyone just wants a piece of me and I just always come last in everything….. and to be quite honest there are days where I just wish I could book into a hotel or spa for 24hrs ,switch off my phone and not say a word to anyone!!!

Not really wanting a pity party, just kinda of figured regurgitating my thoughts here would maybe make a little sense out of it all.

Started  the week with great intentions. Was going to GO TO GYM…..its now Tuesday…still hasnt happened….
I am let to believe it’s a phase in ones life and this too shall pass…..

Working for myself

If my siblings could see me now they would laugh. I have pretty much cruised my entire working career and always been very lucky in that I work very smart and not generally hard. I have always put systems in place that allow me to work smart and therefore get a lot done in half the time. But at the moment as I work on my fledgling business  I’m working my GAT OFF!!!

This is what our evenings look like and at the moment I am working till past midnight with Daddy abs who is working equally as hard.

Mine is for various reasons. Firstly taking Daniel out of aftercare has been good for him and he is far happier. The result however is that I only get to work from 8:30 when nanny arrives for The Kat until 12:30 when I have to fetch the Ginger. I then have about an hour before I really get to settle down to work and then I am interrupted about 30 times by said Ginger for various reasons. So really only get 4 hours done during the day, which is not enough and doesn’t allow me any time to grow my business at all…it’s a wonder I am even successful with amount of hours I get in.

This is further exacerbated by the several meetings I have had in the past two months with my new clients as I hold their hands through the process. I am BIG on relationship and really feel that it is key in the beginning to really build a solid foundation with your clients. So I am therefore bleeding in hours and billing only half of what I am actually doing.

The difference is I see value in what I’m doing and I am just totally in love with what I’m doing. I am starting to see results with most of my clients and that is just so rewarding. And off course there are the perks of being able to work outside and in my PJ’s.

And as I often say at the moment I could have far worse problems! I have been so abundantly blessed with the growth of my business and it just continues to go from strength to strength. It is challenging though. There is not a day that goes by that I’m not petrified of what the future holds or that I might lose a client. (And it’s going to happen I do know that) I think financially I just pray that come March/April next year I can be matching my salary so that we can just be stable for a little while. It’s been a huge worry not having a set salary every month.

But then I’m brought back to the fact that God has totally provided and has my back and that I needn’t worry.

So I just keep trucking and remaining faithful that I have a good brand, a good product and that I will make it and I also keep looking at the positives of which there are many. Like having this person visit me occasionally at the office 🙂

 

The Kids

I’m not really sure where to begin. It’s been one helluva year as far as they’re concerned. Two is just more hectic than one. Although the helluva hectic part is not really the Kat’s fault, but more largely due to her brother. To say that we are going through hell on earth with the Ginger at the moment doesn’t really come close to it! And to say that he is giving us a run for our money also doesn’t even come close to describing it!

I am led to believe that 4 is a very big year for a four year old and as a result it has been a very ‘Big Time‘ for us.
The Ginger is not sleeping and this led to some concerns over why and why the tears at school and why the massive separation anxiety. Having the ‘luxury’ of working from home, meant that the very obvious choice was for us to pull him out of aftercare and bring him home to spend the afternoon here.

This brings with it many challenges as he is totally not capable of spending time alone or without a constant sounding board or playmate. It didn’t help that for close on two years we were in rentals and didn’t have a safe playing area for him and so he was under constant supervision. Now that we have our own enclosed garden you would think he’d love the freedom of playing, but no its far easier to be with mom….. I know I should be flattered!
So it’s been challenging trying to get work done in the afternoons.

The sleeping or lack thereof…..who the blimming hell knows!?!?! Every now and then I try to figure it out but really we have no idea why he is not sleeping. We have cut his TV time, we have changed his diet, We have talked lovingly and no raised voices….you name it! One thing we did do that has improved the amount of waking’s to only 2 per night and definitely not as much hysterical crying is that we have left the bathroom light on and his door open.

About two weeks ago he begged to fall asleep in our bed and then we’d transfer him when we went to bed…. He asked me to put our walk in closet light on and leave the door open. So I left it ajar. When we went to fetch him the door was wide open and he was lights out. So I said to Daddy Abs let’s leave his door open and leave the bathroom light on. He has had a night light from small but it’s obviously dim and not enough light and it’s been like chalk and cheese! All I can say I long may it last….its been hell!!!

The Kat. She just gets on with it! She is busy cutting teeth and in fact slept through a couple nights whilst cutting her top 3! So yah she just keeps on amazing me with how chilled she is and I keep on expecting it to fall apart! She changes daily and in the past few weeks has learnt to clap her hands and also waves goodbye to everyone. It’s adorable. She’s also learnt to shout at her brother when he irritates her. She is desperately trying to crawl but can’t get over her rolls in the thighs. She’ll get there though.

She is all smiles and melts your heart……oh and has daddy totally wrapped around her baby finger.

Even though it’s been a stormy few months I’m just so completely blessed to have these two little people to call mine. And as tough as it is to work from home form the interruptions perspective, I am just loving being around to watch them grow. They are sprouting like weeds before my eyes and even though I’m exhausted and there are days I want to run away, I wouldn’t change this journey for anything!

The Tonsillectomy

The procedure was performed at the KZN day clinic in Umhlanga. What a beautiful facility and the nursing staff were incredible.

Dr Desmarais was his usual amazing self with the ginger and his anesthetist was equally as good.

The wait was a long one as they surprisingly didn’t take the patients in age order, Daniel actually being the youngest.

We walked into theatre and they lay him down. He was fine until the gas started to kick and then He fought!! As only my ginger could. Dr said he wouldn’t remember it but he did and recalled them holding him down when we were in the lift going home. That’s my boy!!!

The procedure was not particularly long,even though they did both adenoids and tonsils. When he came around he was his usual disorientated self ( we do this every night) he was cold and said : ‘ it tickles’ a lot. Then he eventually calmed as I lay down next to him and fell asleep. When he woke up he ate a packet of nicknaks and drank coke!!! Apparently it’s really good for the scabs. I was horrified but did it.

Then after a really long wait they sent us on our way. That afternoon the pooh hit the fan. He started screaming and complaining that first his fingers were sore then his back and he was wanting me to hit him in the back. I could only think it was cramping. I called Dr and he said in his 40 odd years he’d never heard of this…. And said that kids often don’t know how to explain a pain in the neck and throat area so they feel pain elsewhere. Makes sense. However over the next few days we were able to pinpoint the cramping and associated screaming was related to the panamor suppositories. So won’t be using those again!!!

So we went back to the good old regime of neurofen and panado to treat his pain.

It was a very long week with Dan sleeping in my bed with me and daddy Abs relegated to the spareroom. But eventually toward the middle of the second week the ginger turned the corner and was back to his old self.

Would I recommend it now that I’ve forgotten the pain of the two weeks? He’ll yes. I am glad however that we did wait till he was older. It is a lot easier because he was able to really communicate what he was feeling.

Goodbye Tonsillitis

Tomorrow the ginger is having a tonsillectomy and I’m absolutely petrified…. And not for the reasons one would normally be scared…. I’m scared and fearful for those reasons too as no mother willingly puts her child under and is ok with it. But I’m scared of my ginger!! There I said it!!! Daniel comes with fire that you can only really understand when you’ve stood in the firing line… And to be quote honest I’m absolutely dreading the next couple of days. He is going to be beyond unbearable.

So please keep us in your prayers and wish me luck!! 

Now I must sleep. Need to wake said ginger at 2am to give him some apple juice and then up at 5:30am to get to the hospital in time. 

Ginger turns 4

So on Thursday the ginger turned 4. And I know everyone says this: but I still distinctly remember the split second silence, followed by his piercing cry as he was born, like it was yesterday, so I can’t believe my baby is 4!!!

I don’t know who was more excited him or me but I couldn’t wait for this birthday this year and his emotion and passion when he opened presents just confirmed how much I adore this child and his zest for life.

His day was a full one filled with early morning opening of present, birthday rings at school, his literacy evening where he read out the Lion and the mouse and then topped off with a supper at Spur. There are a lot of pics but that’s because his face is priceless and really shows his day and I just couldn’t choose!!!

Of course the plane had to have breakfast with him

You know you’ve nailed the present when your son gives it a kiss!

When he realised what it was

Sometimes the box is just as much fun!

No more sleeps left!

   

On Saturday we also had a little party with a few of his friends. The theme was dinosaurs and of course as my husband said i totally overdid it……. but it wasn’t for me. Not only did I enjoy it and loved doing all the decor, I did it because I have a crappy birthdate where no one remembers and if they do they really couldn’t care about having a party just before new years. So I know how it feels to have kak birthday parties and I NEVER want Dan to feel like that. I never want his day to be anything short of amazing and I’ll work even harder for the Kat who has the 18th December for hers!!

So yes I went all out and will continue to do so cos to see the little guys face and enjoyment was just priceless and when he said to me that evening: Thank you mom for spoiling me today, it was all appreciation I needed.

So till next year… And thank goodness I have a year to recoup cos I’m pooped!!

31 things

*its a long one beware and there will be moaning, bitching but then I guess that’s the beauty of it being my space – Reminds me of the lyrics: it’s my party…… 😉 *

The title is one of my first posts I wrote in my head about 5 weeks ago! Since then I’ve written about another dozen in my head so I guess It’s pretty apt as there is so much that has happened, so much to talk to, so many thoughts to offload…. Although 31 things doesn’t really come close…. More like 61!!

Adjusting to my new life.I won’t lie I’m taking some serious getting used to this working from home thing. Don’t get me wrong it’s still the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but if I had to look at the past two months objectively and I was the boss, which I am, I’d have fired me long ago!!! My business takes last place. After, family, maid, house and the list goes on. And that’s seriously wrong. I should be ploughing serious hours into this business and instead I’m spinning around doing all other cr@p that’s not ‘expected’ of me yet just ends on my plate. Every Monday though I regroup and start over and try again… I fail….. but at least in trying. I’m doing surprisingly well considering the effort being put in and have signed 3 clients this month. God has been so good to me.

Mothers guilt. I thought It would be different being at home with Kat but it’s just morphed into different forms but it’s still there. Just proves that us women and mothers are SO good at feeling guilty for just living! My latest guilt is the fact that I have to stop breastfeeding. The Kat,post my Cape Town trip, has just point blank refused to feed. I’ve had a few successes but she’s on the whole just not interested anymore. I’m mostly sad and very heart sore but also feel guilty that I went to Cape Town (I frikking know right?!?) And then there’s the ginger. He’s sleeping really badly AGAIN and I permanently feel it’s my fault for not spending enough quality time as I’m always running myself raggard with 1001 things and short with him. So of course it’s my fault right?!??

On running myself raggard.I seems to be in a permanent spin and the list never seems to get smaller. And every so often I will get an older lady ie not my generation tell me that I’m soooooo lucky to have a husband who’s hands on with the kids. And I read a blog post the other day which really summed it up for me. I am lucky because there are many husbands that don’t help. BUT that doesn’t mean I should have to accept always coming last out of the 4 of us or having to perform 40 tasks for every one someone else in the house does. Or as a women do I? Your thoughts?

Cape Town- 2.5 days 2 nights. 4 wine estate, waterfront, night out. 2 best friends and NO children. 

That pretty much sums it up. Heaven doesn’t come close to describing how frikking amazing the time was. It made me realise just how neglected I’ve felt and how much I’ve lost touch with myself. I laughed so much my belly hurt, I lived on a staple diet of cheese, red wine, champagne and ice cream. It was just amazing and made me treasure the two special friends I went with. I’ve only known them just over a year and they truly have supported me through a tough year. Those type of people you hang into. Most of all there is just no cr@p with them, which is really hard to find, especially with females ( we’re a special species 😉

Weekends away and conditions for travel. 

We were away again this weekend. It the second and last of our two annual weekend away. We we’re at Castleburn. It’s our first time and it’s really lovely. I packed totally incorrectly for us as it was quite warm even tho the max temp was only supposed to be 22 deg. It must be really beautiful in summer and has a lovely pool which the kids could make use of. There are also great activities for the kids, trampoline, tennis courts, paddle boats, jungle gym etc. My first impression is that we’ll be back.

BUT and there is a very big but. There will be conditions for travel going forward. I will no longer be trying to pack this family of four myself and then driving like a banshee to fetch daddy Abs from work and then arriving in the cold and dark with two kids who have slept and hour already and then have to settle in an unfamiliar environment. It’s not a great start for every weekend for me. I arrived stressed and raggard and just not conducive for good family time and I’m done doing it. I’ve been doing this for 4 years and the conditions for travel will be that we rather go away less but definitely not after work. It just don’t work!!

(Oh and on an aside and totally random……. I  was sitting outside on the Saturday and saw a hearse pull up and escort a dead body out a unit from across the road. What the hell. Not often you see that whilst on holiday!!!

The Kat.

Every day I fall more and more in love with her. She’s a smart cookie this one. Very expressive with her hand (secretly I hope she’ll play the piano like her momma ) and she communicates so well when she wants to tell you something. She is a beautiful 9kgs with thighs and cellulite to die for. The kind you jsut wanna sink your teeth into. I’m truly very blessed that I’m able to watch her sprout before my eyes, even if it makes me a little heartsore in the process.

The Ginger.

We’ve just done his 9/10/11th bout , sorry i lose track, of Tonsillitis. This was a particularly bad round with temps hitting 41 degrees and battling to break them. We have an appointment with Dr Desmarais at the end of the month as I think it’s time we get them out. Not looking forward to it and have some serious fears about it , thanks to my best friend who has scared the kak out of me (her little one had a really bad experience) So yah I’m hoping Desmarais will be able to alleviate some of my fears. Other than that he’s a real sweetheart and coming up with the most precious things. He turns four next week can you believe it and we’re having a little party at home for him. It’s a dinosaur theme. Really need to get my A into G and get cracking on  the decor. (ADD TO LIST OF 31 THINGS)

And here we are Spring is here, can you believe its September!!! I have my diet on and starting to shed my scaly and pale skin. * note to self , get legs into sun, you can no longer live at the coast and be THIS pale, not a great advert for coastal living * And that’s pretty much me in a not so concise short nutshell.

And the way its going….until next month take care. 🙂

Week two in 200

Ok so here’s an update in about 200 words….more because I don’t really have capacity for more J

I have worked intense hours trying to get setup but I think I’m just about there and next week can really start canvassing for business!!

Two weeks into my new business Marketing Works and here are a few thoughts.

1. I love it!
2. Working from home has its advantages (if you could see my dress code you’d understandJ
3. My brain has never swum with more information overload ever!!!!
4. I feel more accomplished and inadequate all merged into one large bundle than I have ever felt before
5. I feel empowered
6. I am scared absolutely beyond belief and flit between being so pumped and so scared of failure every 30 seconds
7. I have read and upskilled myself and tingle with all the knowledge and information I have gained in the past two weeks
8. I am more passionate about marketing than I have been in the past 5 years
9. I am seeing my baby girl sprout before my eyes BUT the difference is I’m around to see it
10. I baked cupcakes with my little guy for baker baker yesterday and it rocked!
11. I’m more focused and determined than ever before
12. I’ve lost 2kgs because I’ve been able to get to the gym and focus on me for a change
13. I’m able to click post to this blog post and then go lie on the carpet for 20 min and play with the Kat before I go fetch the ginger
14. This has been the best thing to ever happen to me

And……tonight I have date night hubby….for the first time in ages.

LIFE IS GOOD!

So have an awesome weekend everyone.

 



Baker baker



a quick visit at the ‘office’ 😉