31 things

*its a long one beware and there will be moaning, bitching but then I guess that’s the beauty of it being my space – Reminds me of the lyrics: it’s my party…… 😉 *

The title is one of my first posts I wrote in my head about 5 weeks ago! Since then I’ve written about another dozen in my head so I guess It’s pretty apt as there is so much that has happened, so much to talk to, so many thoughts to offload…. Although 31 things doesn’t really come close…. More like 61!!

Adjusting to my new life.I won’t lie I’m taking some serious getting used to this working from home thing. Don’t get me wrong it’s still the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but if I had to look at the past two months objectively and I was the boss, which I am, I’d have fired me long ago!!! My business takes last place. After, family, maid, house and the list goes on. And that’s seriously wrong. I should be ploughing serious hours into this business and instead I’m spinning around doing all other cr@p that’s not ‘expected’ of me yet just ends on my plate. Every Monday though I regroup and start over and try again… I fail….. but at least in trying. I’m doing surprisingly well considering the effort being put in and have signed 3 clients this month. God has been so good to me.

Mothers guilt. I thought It would be different being at home with Kat but it’s just morphed into different forms but it’s still there. Just proves that us women and mothers are SO good at feeling guilty for just living! My latest guilt is the fact that I have to stop breastfeeding. The Kat,post my Cape Town trip, has just point blank refused to feed. I’ve had a few successes but she’s on the whole just not interested anymore. I’m mostly sad and very heart sore but also feel guilty that I went to Cape Town (I frikking know right?!?) And then there’s the ginger. He’s sleeping really badly AGAIN and I permanently feel it’s my fault for not spending enough quality time as I’m always running myself raggard with 1001 things and short with him. So of course it’s my fault right?!??

On running myself raggard.I seems to be in a permanent spin and the list never seems to get smaller. And every so often I will get an older lady ie not my generation tell me that I’m soooooo lucky to have a husband who’s hands on with the kids. And I read a blog post the other day which really summed it up for me. I am lucky because there are many husbands that don’t help. BUT that doesn’t mean I should have to accept always coming last out of the 4 of us or having to perform 40 tasks for every one someone else in the house does. Or as a women do I? Your thoughts?

Cape Town- 2.5 days 2 nights. 4 wine estate, waterfront, night out. 2 best friends and NO children. 

That pretty much sums it up. Heaven doesn’t come close to describing how frikking amazing the time was. It made me realise just how neglected I’ve felt and how much I’ve lost touch with myself. I laughed so much my belly hurt, I lived on a staple diet of cheese, red wine, champagne and ice cream. It was just amazing and made me treasure the two special friends I went with. I’ve only known them just over a year and they truly have supported me through a tough year. Those type of people you hang into. Most of all there is just no cr@p with them, which is really hard to find, especially with females ( we’re a special species 😉

Weekends away and conditions for travel. 

We were away again this weekend. It the second and last of our two annual weekend away. We we’re at Castleburn. It’s our first time and it’s really lovely. I packed totally incorrectly for us as it was quite warm even tho the max temp was only supposed to be 22 deg. It must be really beautiful in summer and has a lovely pool which the kids could make use of. There are also great activities for the kids, trampoline, tennis courts, paddle boats, jungle gym etc. My first impression is that we’ll be back.

BUT and there is a very big but. There will be conditions for travel going forward. I will no longer be trying to pack this family of four myself and then driving like a banshee to fetch daddy Abs from work and then arriving in the cold and dark with two kids who have slept and hour already and then have to settle in an unfamiliar environment. It’s not a great start for every weekend for me. I arrived stressed and raggard and just not conducive for good family time and I’m done doing it. I’ve been doing this for 4 years and the conditions for travel will be that we rather go away less but definitely not after work. It just don’t work!!

(Oh and on an aside and totally random……. I  was sitting outside on the Saturday and saw a hearse pull up and escort a dead body out a unit from across the road. What the hell. Not often you see that whilst on holiday!!!

The Kat.

Every day I fall more and more in love with her. She’s a smart cookie this one. Very expressive with her hand (secretly I hope she’ll play the piano like her momma ) and she communicates so well when she wants to tell you something. She is a beautiful 9kgs with thighs and cellulite to die for. The kind you jsut wanna sink your teeth into. I’m truly very blessed that I’m able to watch her sprout before my eyes, even if it makes me a little heartsore in the process.

The Ginger.

We’ve just done his 9/10/11th bout , sorry i lose track, of Tonsillitis. This was a particularly bad round with temps hitting 41 degrees and battling to break them. We have an appointment with Dr Desmarais at the end of the month as I think it’s time we get them out. Not looking forward to it and have some serious fears about it , thanks to my best friend who has scared the kak out of me (her little one had a really bad experience) So yah I’m hoping Desmarais will be able to alleviate some of my fears. Other than that he’s a real sweetheart and coming up with the most precious things. He turns four next week can you believe it and we’re having a little party at home for him. It’s a dinosaur theme. Really need to get my A into G and get cracking on  the decor. (ADD TO LIST OF 31 THINGS)

And here we are Spring is here, can you believe its September!!! I have my diet on and starting to shed my scaly and pale skin. * note to self , get legs into sun, you can no longer live at the coast and be THIS pale, not a great advert for coastal living * And that’s pretty much me in a not so concise short nutshell.

And the way its going….until next month take care. 🙂

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Holiday… Me time, spoilings and family.



What luxury! I’m sitting in the hairdresser, cup of warm tea and just two hours of bliss and quiet ahead of me!! It funny how your standards change and how amazing the little me time you get can be so amazing even if it’s sitting at a hairdresser!! 



We’re away for the week and came to visit daddy Abs’s family in East London. It’s been a year since we were home so has been really nice to be back. 

It’s an 8 hour journey so on the way down we decided to break the trip and stay over in kokstad. We stayed at Imbali guest house. It had four stars rating and was really lovely. The only problem was we were all in one room and the room we booked was still occupied so instead of kicking out the dude occupying it they put us in a small room with a mattress on the floor for the ginger. Problem was the mattress was still covered in the original plastic they bought it in. I also forgot a mattress for Kat so we had to make a makeshift mattress out of the throws over our bed. 



So it was character building and saw us eating supper takeaways on he bathroom floor while the kids slept 🙂

Long and the short of it we’ve decided to do the trip back in one go . The kids travelled really well and we will just stop for breakfast and lunch. It is after all a family holiday and it’s about the journey too. And it’s a beautiful journey. Having been born in the Eastern Cape, one can’t but sense the feeling of being ‘home’ as one drives through this distinctive and beautiful landscape. 





A holiday with us wouldn’t be a holiday if we didn’t have one of us sick!! We did it super well however and ALL visited the dr on our first day here. Kat was well so she just came for the ride 😉 daddy and I got antibiotics and the ginger got a course of Aspelone. Horrid stuff that! Makes him super hyper and yuk. His last day is tomorrow and I can’t say he’s much better. This flu this year is nasty stuff. My poor Kat however is now sick and there is nothing you can give a 7 month old. So I’m just trying to keep her not so congested and from going to her chest. I won’t lie I’m a little nervous after our horrid hospital experience in April!! 

Whahahahahaha. I’m just retreading the post and it really doesn’t sound like a thrilling trip so far 🙂 but it’s actually been really lovely and relaxing…. As relaxing as it can be with two children. But yah it’s been really great. As usual gunny and bugga (aka grandparents) have been awesome and spoilt us and the ginger rotten and daddy Abs and I also got to go shopping for like 3hrs just the two of us. We actually went shopping for daddy abs and I came home with loads of things for me!! And now I’m at the hairdresser getting pampered





So it been a good week and given me time to regroup and get myself up and running as next week is going to be a big week as I finally launch my new business. 

365 days of different



Today marked a year since our lives changed forever…and it sends chills down my spine as I remember driving down to the hospital 13 weeks pregnant with the Kat and praying ‘lord please let him live, please let him live’ 

And God answered that prayer…..

We aren’t the same though and our family dynamic is not what it used to be. A family member having a stroke will do that to you. Our get togethers aren’t as loud with the presence of my larger than life dad telling stories, with his face alight and his hearty laughs…. Instead he’s now the one who sits and observes, mute.

He’s slowing down tremendously and who knows how long he’ll be with us. My older brother left today to go back home to Toronto. Very hard for him, knowing that more than likely he won’t see his dad alive again….. Emigration hurts no matter reasons you do it for! 

And I lie in bed awake….A lot…mostly after the 3am feed where I’ve had a few hours, just enough to recharge me. And I think of how I’ll tell my son about heaven and  where his ‘bugga’ has gone to. And I think of his funeral and how we will portray what an amazing man he was. Because let’s face it any funeral you go to people will tell what an amazing person the deceased was but people that have met and have known my dad just don’t know how blessed they were because he was…. Is such an incredible person. 

I don’t think we’ll ever know Gods reason or timing for this but we have learnt over the last year:

• To treasure the little things and small victories 
• To LOVE and I mean with all your heart the ones close to you
• That the human spirit will ALWAYS hope even in the face of adversity

But we will never be the same and shoeh there are some days that I so wish it hadn’t ended this way as I had so much I still wanted to do with my dad…. I just treasure that I still get the chance everyday to say what I need to say and whisper ‘ I love you’ and THAT I take as a gift….. I’m given the chance everyday to treasure the time I have left with him. 

The toddler newborn dance

The Kat and I came home a day early and everyone said I was bloody crazy. But I wasn’t using the nurses to be honest and missed my boys desperately and also the comforts of home. Yes they don’t bring you tea at 4:30am at home but I was sure I wouldn’t miss it.

So we got home and the toddler-newborn dance began.

Except ours was an interesting version as the ginger woke from his lunchtime nap with full blown conjunctivitis in both eyes….. So proceeded the next two days with daddy washing everything in sight and also us keeping the ginger away from his new sister. Not ideal when you’re trying to integrate a newborn and hoping its sibling will like it!!!

The following two weeks were a dance of Christmas festivities and along with it, lack of routine, too many treats, no school and as a result a ginger who walked all over us. There was much smacking, lots of tears and achieving nothing. I won’t lie I felt pretty inadequate as a parent and mother!!!

On top of that was a really slow recovery exacerbated by a double infection of my scar and two rounds of antibiotics. Leaving me feeling very frustrated and sorry for myself for a good 3 weeks, which isn’t very long at all but for someone who is as independent and not reliant on people I found it incredibly challenging to say the least!!

But things went back to normal in the new year and we’re slowly finding our feet. There is still more change to come next week as the ginger starts a new school so I a haven’t been too perturbed about getting it all right as things will no doubt change again.

The most challenging for me has been the 5-7pm time just before bath and largely due to the fact that I do it alone. Daddy Abs is not home before then so it’s been a new dance I’ve had to learn. Daniel is not bad and he is very accepting of me having to feed his sister or do something with her. The trick is not juggling two it’s getting him into the bath on time so we can get him down as he is playing us big time. Coming out of his room 40 times, is thirsty, hungry, wants to make a poo, you know the usual. Kat is also not easy to settle and is not going down easily in the evenings…. So it’s become very much a divide and conquer dance between daddy and and I with us passing Kat around as we tend to the ginger…. A dance we’ve yet to master.

And then the absolute worst is that the ginger has also regressed in all things toilet wise. We are back to wet undies and poos too!! That’s a whole another story. I was warned it would happen and really battle to get my head around the fact that my son who has been potty trained for over a year and a half is back to this!!!

But in all of this there’s a saying…. This too shall pass. And soon we shall all know the steps to our new dance.

You can’t take that away from me

It’s a frikkin privilege to be a mom!!
I had the best day with my ginger. Daddy Abs is away on business and I needed to get us out the house following a really bad night with the neighbour who played his music so loudly my windows vibrated till midnight. The police were called which put a stop to his shenanigans but it was pleasant and I didn’t want to be there today…. Any who…

So we headed to gateway shopping theatre and went to funtubbles. What a score, realised the two cards I had had a couple of R’s on them and so we hit the rides. We were there several months and this time was just so different and so grown up!!! . Daniel is sooooo my child. Unlike his daddy who gets motion sickness sitting in the back of a car!! So we hit the big rides this time and had such an amazing time. It was a good thing we went as the rides I was allowed on would not have been ok next month as most of the belts and bars sat snuggly on the Ablet belly. I am after all 7mths already!!

After the rides we hit ‘old macdonalds farm’ aka macdonalds for lunch. Then a trip to gateway would not be complete without riding “spirit”

So lots of fun was had and needless to say the ginger was lights out before we even got onto the freeway!

Got home to more loud music from the neighbour but he eventually stopped so managed to get some kip before packing up to come stay with my mom tonight (yes I’m a woes and quite frankly need sleep and not in the mood to fight upstairs again tonight)

Unfortunately had to work again tonight but the ginger stayed with mom. She misses him you know. Used to spend a lot of time with him before dad’s stroke….

I was back by 7:15pm and tucking my little guy into bed. He turns to me, takes my cheek in his hands and say: you know mom I really love you.

Afterall the kak I’ve been through this week, year….You can’t take that away from me. I get to be this special little boys mom!! How’s that for wicked!!

Coming Home

On the way to the hospital when we got the terrible news of my dad all I could pray was: “Please God spare my dad , just let him live and let him come home” and tomorrow my prayer will be answered!

My dad is coming home. He has been given the all clear from the Physician Dr Ramdass (who by the way if you need a Physician at Ethekwini Heart Hospital, then this is your man. His bedside manner is amazing and he has been approachable and just present at a time when we needed it most). If you’re looking for a Neuro I can tell you who NOT to touch! Unless of course you want to be told you’re dying and there is no chance for survival!!!

My work colleague’s mom , who runs an old age home, has been an absolute Godsend with advice and helping mom get ready for dad’s return. We have hospital beds, wheelchairs , table and carers all on standby and will go and fetch dad tomorrow.

The road is still long but you know what right now…today… if feels like we’ll conquer anything!

I still believe in my dad and believe that he will make a full recovery. His speech is improving day by day and every day he gets stronger.

More than that we cant ask for!

Its so good to say MY DAD IS COMING HOME!

Gaining perspective a 150km from home

 

I’ve been a little scarce lately….you know it’s tough having such a hectic social and work life….whahahah.

Jokes aside though it has been quite busy, but in a nice way 🙂

So let me start with the long weekend on the 21st March.
We went to a KZN wildlife site called Oribi Gorge, 2hrs from Durban. We booked a 6 sleeper chalet and on Friday morning headed out early.

We stopped half way to give Daniel a break and also because we were all starving! We stopped in Scottburgh at the wimpy. Always a win! Plus I was plesantly surprised by Scottburgh. It’s really lovely?!?! I say it with surprise as I haven’t been down the coast for many years and so wondered how it has aged. After breakfast we set off and 45min later were at Oribi.
Our accommodation whilst old was clean and really spacious and as with all our bush adventures I was immediately struck at how deafeningly quiet it was.

This little piece of heaven that was so the worth the climb!

The following two days were spent doing walks, afternoon siestas whilst the Ginger slept and standing around the braai (barbeque), drinking wine and just chilling. It’s amazing how much perspective one can gain just two hours away from home and every time we go away we say it again and again…..we really should do it more often!

Would we go back? Probably not. There is not much to do from a young kid perspective and it’s kind of a place that falls into the “Been there, done that” category. But would I recommend it, 100% and of course you have to stand on the big rock

 

It finally feels like home

I’ve said this several times over the past few months that this has truly been one of the hardest times of our lives. Whilst it has also been the most exciting time with us building our first home together is has at the same time been a real adjustment financially with me halving my salary, Rich travelling a lot and also me moving into a work environment that has been quite different!

But over the past two weeks we have settled into a little bit of normality and it has really started to feel good. Don’t get me wrong I have NEVER doubted our move but I have wondered where we’d have been had we not have moved.

Two weeks ago we had a really busy weekend. We had Daniel’s teddy bears picnic with school after church and then we took our very tired bundle home for a sleep. Then we went off to a braai with friends from church….. and you know what? IT ROCKED! The whole frikking weekend just rocked.

I say it again it has been such a wonder and joy to be part of CCNC our church. Not in the 9 years I was in JHB did I have that sense of community and friendship that we have had in the short time we’ve been a part of CCNC. Whilst my dad was sick in Feb the prayers were unbelievable and the offers of food etc. THAT is what a church is about! It about having a family away from family. And of course there’s the amazing benefit that Rich after us being together for 9 years is finally worshiping with me and it’s because he feels comfortable and he too feels the sense of community and that’s awesome!

Last weekend was super awesome too. We went out for supper with Daniel’s “girlfriend” Lilly’s parents and on Saturday I played Action netball with the mom’s from our school.

We got our asses kicked but it was helluva fun (I couldn’t walk for three days kinda fun ;)) Then we rushed off for an impromptu date night Daddy Abs and me and went to watch my home rubgy team The Sharks play the Lions.

This weekend we having people over for a braai. I’m unfortunately having to work the morning tomorrow but then I’m done for the week.

So yah it finally feels like we have a little bit of life and it feels really good.

In other news our plans are ready to be submitted to council. So fingers crossed and lots of prayers that they sail through and that we can start building by May.  All Very exciting!!!

Christmas catch up

I know the title is Christmas catch up and its already the middle of Jan….don’t judge me its been a hectic start to the year!!!

We had a lovely few days with Rich’s parents. They came on the 22nd and left on the 30th December.
The house was pushed to its limits, reminding us just how tiny our rental is (roll on the house build!!!)

On Christmas day we all went our separate ways to church and then came home and opened pressies.
Daniel of course was spoilt stupid! It was funny to watch though ,that out of all his pressies, he loved the cheapest one…. giant jumbo thick chalks Judy my mother in law bought him.

  

I unfortunately had to work till the 24th so didn’t get to spend too much time with the family but it was still good to see them.

Daniel true to form when we have guests was a nightmare, so we spent the days scrambling to keep him quiet while family tried to sleep…..not easy ….not fun.

On the 30th though our house turned empty and we had a few days just the three of us, before heading back to work.
We tried to catch up on sleep as best we could and just spent as much time with Daniel as possible. Man alive that child is full on at the moment. He goes from the minute he opens his eyes till the moment falls asleep.

But it was a good time just the three of us…..and just as we started to relax it was sadly back to work. What with that….it always happens like that , just as you start to relax….ding dong….work bell rings!!!

The year has started full pace and we back into the swing of things, eagerly looking at weekends we can get away and chill…..watch this space

Five minute Friday – Together

Where a few weeks ago there was fear in doing this, now I really look forward to this where I get to write and not overthink…..This is the Five Minute Friday Challenge hosted by Lisa-Jo Baker.

You get to write for 5 minutes with no editing, no over thinking, and no backtracking. This week’s word is: Together

GO

Tonight, I could just burst with excitement. As we celebrate your birthday, together just the two of us, away for the night tonight.

Hasn’t been just the two of us together since that little bundle entered our lives 2 years ago.

Except together takes on a whole new meaning now….together is us, three, family. Our together tonight will be awesome but will be a bit like we’re missing a limb and integral part. Funny how something so little can be such a big part in such a short time…..as if the us never existed….

It’s funny how our together has changed….bettered itself…..funny how together 2011 was so different from together 2013.

I miss the us of 2011 somewhat…long for it, the stillness….. and see tonight as the start of reviving a little of the us.

But know that at the same time I will long and ache for my ginger and think of him often and imagine me scooping him up, slender arms wrapped tightly around my neck, wiggling into me.

I miss us but I love our new together….I love you and I love the ginger with all my heart and that makes me burst too with joy and excitement at the beautiful journey through life together.