31 things

*its a long one beware and there will be moaning, bitching but then I guess that’s the beauty of it being my space – Reminds me of the lyrics: it’s my party…… 😉 *

To do list

The title is one of my first posts I wrote in my head about 5 weeks ago! Since then I’ve written about another dozen in my head so I guess It’s pretty apt as there is so much that has happened, so much to talk to, so many thoughts to offload…. Although 31 things doesn’t really come close…. More like 61!!

Adjusting to my new life.I won’t lie I’m taking some serious getting used to this working from home thing. Don’t get me wrong it’s still the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but if I had to look at the past two months objectively and I was the boss, which I am, I’d have fired me long ago!!! My business takes last place. After, family, maid, house and the list goes on. And that’s seriously wrong. I should be ploughing serious hours into this business and instead I’m spinning around doing all other cr@p that’s not ‘expected’ of me yet just ends on my plate. Every Monday though I regroup and start over and try again… I fail….. but at least in trying. I’m doing surprisingly well considering the effort being put in and have signed 3 clients this month. God has been so good to me.

Mothers guilt. I thought It would be different being at home with Kat but it’s just morphed into different forms but it’s still there. Just proves that us women and mothers are SO good at feeling guilty for just living! My latest guilt is the fact that I have to stop breastfeeding. The Kat,post my Cape Town trip, has just point blank refused to feed. I’ve had a few successes but she’s on the whole just not interested anymore. I’m mostly sad and very heart sore but also feel guilty that I went to Cape Town (I frikking know right?!?) And then there’s the ginger. He’s sleeping really badly AGAIN and I permanently feel it’s my fault for not spending enough quality time as I’m always running myself raggard with 1001 things and short with him. So of course it’s my fault right?!??

On running myself raggard.I seems to be in a permanent spin and the list never seems to get smaller. And every so often I will get an older lady ie not my generation tell me that I’m soooooo lucky to have a husband who’s hands on with the kids. And I read a blog post the other day which really summed it up for me. I am lucky because there are many husbands that don’t help. BUT that doesn’t mean I should have to accept always coming last out of the 4 of us or having to perform 40 tasks for every one someone else in the house does. Or as a women do I? Your thoughts?

Cape Town- 2.5 days 2 nights. 4 wine estate, waterfront, night out. 2 best friends and NO children. 

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That pretty much sums it up. Heaven doesn’t come close to describing how frikking amazing the time was. It made me realise just how neglected I’ve felt and how much I’ve lost touch with myself. I laughed so much my belly hurt, I lived on a staple diet of cheese, red wine, champagne and ice cream. It was just amazing and made me treasure the two special friends I went with. I’ve only known them just over a year and they truly have supported me through a tough year. Those type of people you hang into. Most of all there is just no cr@p with them, which is really hard to find, especially with females ( we’re a special species 😉

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Weekends away and conditions for travel. 

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We were away again this weekend. It the second and last of our two annual weekend away. We we’re at Castleburn. It’s our first time and it’s really lovely. I packed totally incorrectly for us as it was quite warm even tho the max temp was only supposed to be 22 deg. It must be really beautiful in summer and has a lovely pool which the kids could make use of. There are also great activities for the kids, trampoline, tennis courts, paddle boats, jungle gym etc. My first impression is that we’ll be back.

BUT and there is a very big but. There will be conditions for travel going forward. I will no longer be trying to pack this family of four myself and then driving like a banshee to fetch daddy Abs from work and then arriving in the cold and dark with two kids who have slept and hour already and then have to settle in an unfamiliar environment. It’s not a great start for every weekend for me. I arrived stressed and raggard and just not conducive for good family time and I’m done doing it. I’ve been doing this for 4 years and the conditions for travel will be that we rather go away less but definitely not after work. It just don’t work!!

(Oh and on an aside and totally random……. I  was sitting outside on the Saturday and saw a hearse pull up and escort a dead body out a unit from across the road. What the hell. Not often you see that whilst on holiday!!!

The Kat.

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Every day I fall more and more in love with her. She’s a smart cookie this one. Very expressive with her hand (secretly I hope she’ll play the piano like her momma ) and she communicates so well when she wants to tell you something. She is a beautiful 9kgs with thighs and cellulite to die for. The kind you jsut wanna sink your teeth into. I’m truly very blessed that I’m able to watch her sprout before my eyes, even if it makes me a little heartsore in the process.

The Ginger.

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We’ve just done his 9/10/11th bout , sorry i lose track, of Tonsillitis. This was a particularly bad round with temps hitting 41 degrees and battling to break them. We have an appointment with Dr Desmarais at the end of the month as I think it’s time we get them out. Not looking forward to it and have some serious fears about it , thanks to my best friend who has scared the kak out of me (her little one had a really bad experience) So yah I’m hoping Desmarais will be able to alleviate some of my fears. Other than that he’s a real sweetheart and coming up with the most precious things. He turns four next week can you believe it and we’re having a little party at home for him. It’s a dinosaur theme. Really need to get my A into G and get cracking on  the decor. (ADD TO LIST OF 31 THINGS)

And here we are Spring is here, can you believe its September!!! I have my diet on and starting to shed my scaly and pale skin. * note to self , get legs into sun, you can no longer live at the coast and be THIS pale, not a great advert for coastal living * And that’s pretty much me in a not so concise short nutshell.

And the way its going….until next month take care. 🙂

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Shut up and be grateful

This weekend was amazing!! I weeded my entire garden and as a result feel as tho my hamstrings may snap off from either my knees or my butt but I weeded!! It’s significant because it means I spent the entire day pottering around our home and not achieving much…. And it rocked!!!

It’s what we’ve yearned for, for so long, to just be able to spend time in our own place as a family….

Saturday evening we went to La Piazza. It’s a local Italian place that is literally on our doorstep. It’s ridiculously overpriced and really the pizzas ( which is the only thing we stick to after many disappointing meals there) are average…. You ask then why on earth do we go? Well it’s simple LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION. It’s close to home which means daddy Abs can have a beer or two and me some wine and we can walk home and don’t have to get behind the wheel. Also it had a cool jungle gym and play area for the ginger. So yah dropped a small fortune there but the best part was we were home early and in bed early…. Good thing as the kids pulled a pearler tag team effort on Saturday night. So we employed the divide and conquer. Daddy Abs ended up in the Gingers room (the two single beds have proven quite useful lately) and Kat and I wrestled until 4:30 when I fed her and then gave up trying to doze.
So I put her in front on her bears and she had a chat with them for an hour.

She’s super cute at the moment. Still as chilled as ever but also finding her voice and realising that he who shouts the loudest…… She is NOT happy on her back at the moment and just loves to sit. Unfortunately the tummy muscles need a little more work so we prop her up with pillows and she spends a good deal of time in the downward Kat position (see below 🙂

Daniel continues to grow and remain strong willed …..strong being the operative word! As infuriating as this age is , it is also so rewarding and the stuff that comes out of his mouth is just priceless!

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Sunday was a special day as we celebrated my mom’s 70th. We just had a family lunch at home which my sister catered. It was really beautifully done. My aunt (mom’s sister) who also shares the same birthday 3 years apart was up for the week and it was so lovely to see mom so alive. I think it was just so nice for her to be out and about and “live” a little again. It’s been a tough year for us all , with mom taking the brunt of it.

The weekend was so good for me. It was a time for reflection….. I sorted a lot of thoughts out in my head. Which I mostly do when I run (which is not happening at the moment). I had a chat with a friend the other day who said to me in conversation : oh well when things settle down for you….. and I was hurt by it and angry, in a kind of defensive way….sort of because I felt we ddidn’tfit the bill….. But then I realised not only was she RIGHT but this IS our life. Our life IS hectic and its NOT going to change and you know what. I like our new life. I love my little family the chaotic way it is. Just made me realise again (this happens periodically) that we have spent so much time making friends since we moved here and that its time we actually concentrated on us as a family ,because in the end of the day ,friends change their views and grow their own ways and a change to family dynamic will not always fit in with their plans unless you’re going through the same phase at the same time. The one constant thought is your family and on that you can always rely. I’m still trying to box my friendship with my best friend of ten years and how it all went south. And there have been many moments when I’ve thought of picking up the phone, but its not out of stubbornness that I haven’t, its more out of where the hell does one start? And then I also realise that my friendship couldn’t have meant much. I didn’t even get an sms when my little girl of 4mths had pneumonia in hospital – I really do need to come to terms with the fact that she doesn’t care….it’s hard though.

With some me time came the opportunity to login into feedly and read all the many blogs I follow. And wow have I missed outa lot. I also got to the read the 1001 and web pages Id opened and never gotten round to reading. I read some really heart wrenching stuff, and stuff that made me really sad , but the saddest was of a couple that decided not to abort their Trisomy 13 child and rather carry him to term, knowing he wouldn’t survive many days….. They spent 5 days with him and documented those days. On the 5th Day they both fell asleep next to him only to wake and he was gone. I was beside myself!!! And I know I always say its relative and that your battles and trial you are going through , you are also entitles to moan and complain about. BUT HOLY CRAP, can you imagine that! And it made me catch a wake up! Its been a tough 12 months, yes, it’s also been a really challenging 2015 so far, yes, BUT it’s time to stop bloody complaining it’s time to SHUT UP and be GRATEFUL, no matter how big or small.

So on that note I’m going to start #shutupandbegrateful posts. Basically its going to be similar to my #100happydays I did last year but it will be something I’m grateful for every day. And it starts today. I’m going to post them on Instagram. Mainly cos it’s the easiest from my phone because I take most of my photos on my Iphone.

So here goes and this is an obvious one:

#1 I’m Super grateful for my healthy gorgeous family

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#1: Sunday morning selfie – #shutupandbegrateful

 

The tragic weekend of Hluhluwe 2015

We’ve been away for the weekend. It was a complimentary weekend fully paid at the Protea hotel Hluhluwe in compensation for the crap weekend we had in October for Daddy Abs’s  birthday. They put us up in the lodge with was absolutely stunning and we were all set for a really stunning weekend….. Until Kat got sick.

She’d been ailing with a snotty nose which turned pear shape on Thursday. So I took her to the doctor only to be told there was nothing really they could do because she’s so little and also it wasn’t bacterial. So we’ve been treating her symptoms and she’s had ups and downs. It’s however now gone to her chest and after battling to get her down until 11pm last night I’m worried about her. Her breathing was a little laboured last night. So we need to get her checked out. 

We toyed with the idea of canceling the weekend but you know that saying it’s far easier crying in a Mercedes than on a bicycle…. I figured if it was going to go pear shaped rather in a 5* lodge than at home.

Now I’m not so sure…..

You see yesterday the ginger got sick as well and I think now has full blown tonsillitis… Again!! And he got sick fast. When we left the lodge to go to the game reserve he was fine and then suddenly spiked a massive temp!! 

So we’ve just left  the lodge and on our way back home to the ER (because there are no Dr’s open after 11am) 

This is proving rather challenging considering I’ve only been back at work for a week and this is now happening and I don’t know how I’m going to work this… On top of that I have no filter chick who will be on my back telling me this is all my fault because I have sent my poor tiny baby to crèche and that expressing at work is not going to help and how dare I take 20 min a day to do so  and that she has two sick kids too but her mother is SO amazing and looks after them and if I had a full time maid and an ‘amazing mother’ like hers then I wouldn’t have to figure out how I’m going to keep my children home tomorrow and still go to work…… And I want to scream at her and tell her to shut the hell up and that I DO have an amazing mother who is doing her best looking after my father day in and day out  even though she wants to fall part, and that I HAD a maid until I found her sleeping on the rocking chair with my tiny baby and that I’m trying to FIND a maid  to look after my kids when they’re sick but battling to find one and that I’m TRYING to find my feet back at work and doing everything and that I’m trying to SURVIVE on 3hrs sleep a night and that I DO doubt myself and the choices I’ve made but that I don’t need her on my case because contrary to popular belief she like me is NOT perfect!!! 

So yah we’re on our way home from a really kak weekend. I feel kak because our poor friends that came with us had a kak weekend as a result. 

It’s just another weekend to add alongside the tragedy of Dullstroom 2011, the tragedy of Harties 2012, tragedy of JHB 2013!!! I won’t lie I’m considering cancelling our weekend away in June to Castleburn, because  you know I’ve now proven, when your kids are sick it’s just easier to be home. 

So think of us as we enter this week week. It’s gonna be interesting. Going to have to dig deep and I pray we find a solution….

Gaining perspective a 150km from home

 

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I’ve been a little scarce lately….you know it’s tough having such a hectic social and work life….whahahah.

Jokes aside though it has been quite busy, but in a nice way 🙂

So let me start with the long weekend on the 21st March.
We went to a KZN wildlife site called Oribi Gorge, 2hrs from Durban. We booked a 6 sleeper chalet and on Friday morning headed out early.

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We stopped half way to give Daniel a break and also because we were all starving! We stopped in Scottburgh at the wimpy. Always a win! Plus I was plesantly surprised by Scottburgh. It’s really lovely?!?! I say it with surprise as I haven’t been down the coast for many years and so wondered how it has aged. After breakfast we set off and 45min later were at Oribi.
Our accommodation whilst old was clean and really spacious and as with all our bush adventures I was immediately struck at how deafeningly quiet it was.

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This little piece of heaven that was so the worth the climb!

The following two days were spent doing walks, afternoon siestas whilst the Ginger slept and standing around the braai (barbeque), drinking wine and just chilling. It’s amazing how much perspective one can gain just two hours away from home and every time we go away we say it again and again…..we really should do it more often!

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Would we go back? Probably not. There is not much to do from a young kid perspective and it’s kind of a place that falls into the “Been there, done that” category. But would I recommend it, 100% and of course you have to stand on the big rock

 

It finally feels like home

I’ve said this several times over the past few months that this has truly been one of the hardest times of our lives. Whilst it has also been the most exciting time with us building our first home together is has at the same time been a real adjustment financially with me halving my salary, Rich travelling a lot and also me moving into a work environment that has been quite different!

But over the past two weeks we have settled into a little bit of normality and it has really started to feel good. Don’t get me wrong I have NEVER doubted our move but I have wondered where we’d have been had we not have moved.

Two weeks ago we had a really busy weekend. We had Daniel’s teddy bears picnic with school after church and then we took our very tired bundle home for a sleep. Then we went off to a braai with friends from church….. and you know what? IT ROCKED! The whole frikking weekend just rocked.

I say it again it has been such a wonder and joy to be part of CCNC our church. Not in the 9 years I was in JHB did I have that sense of community and friendship that we have had in the short time we’ve been a part of CCNC. Whilst my dad was sick in Feb the prayers were unbelievable and the offers of food etc. THAT is what a church is about! It about having a family away from family. And of course there’s the amazing benefit that Rich after us being together for 9 years is finally worshiping with me and it’s because he feels comfortable and he too feels the sense of community and that’s awesome!

Last weekend was super awesome too. We went out for supper with Daniel’s “girlfriend” Lilly’s parents and on Saturday I played Action netball with the mom’s from our school.

Netball 2 (800x600)Netball 1 (600x800) We got our asses kicked but it was helluva fun (I couldn’t walk for three days kinda fun ;)) Then we rushed off for an impromptu date night Daddy Abs and me and went to watch my home rubgy team The Sharks play the Lions.

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This weekend we having people over for a braai. I’m unfortunately having to work the morning tomorrow but then I’m done for the week.

So yah it finally feels like we have a little bit of life and it feels really good.

In other news our plans are ready to be submitted to council. So fingers crossed and lots of prayers that they sail through and that we can start building by May.  All Very exciting!!!

How not to spend a weekend

We were planning a trip to JHB for two birthday parties and seeing as they were on the same weekend we thought it would be ideal to go back to our old home and see some friends.

We ummed and aahhhed about whether it was a good idea but figured that 1. The ginger probably has something viral and would turn the corner 2. We lived in Johannesburg for 9 years and had a good network for medical practitioners should the need arise.

It arose!!

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It was a nice weekend in that we got to see most of our friends but it was super shit in that we didn’t sleep a wink and poor Daniel spiked and continues to spike temperatures as we are driving home. He now has an awful cold poor little guy. We also ended up at fourways life on sat morning when Daniel spiked yet another 40.5 (4th day running). No one seems to be concerned that we cannot seem to keep his temp down unless he’s medicated?!? Fortunately have an ENT appointment for a checkup and hope that he’ ll be able to help .

But yip been a challenging weekend and daddy Abs and I are kinda running on empty.

On a more positive not tho this was the first time I could sit in the back seat of the car with the ginger and not had to put my feet in the ground! It amazing how quickly things change. In October when we went away for the weekend it look liked we were packing for a week but this time there we’re no magpies, one bottle and no camp cot and I managed to pack all Daniel’s stuff in one small tog bag 🙂

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Also I love road trips as I get to dabble in all thing junk food. As result I feel horrid but still enjoyed every morsel of my tempo chocolate, solero ice lolly, macdonalds breakfast and steers burger. No prizes for guessing who is back on diet tomorrow.

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How was your weekend? Is it me or does it seem like everyone is having a rough February? Me thinks maybe it’s time for a tweede nuwe jaar party (second new year)

Its been a good week

Can you believe it I’ve been back at work two weeks already.

It been crazy busy.

It’s been a good week. Saw my sister on Tuesday. She’s B.E.S.T practitioner. I’m not sure if you remember in July last year I wasn’t in a good way health wise. Well it seems I’m a little better but I did get a little stern talking to because I’m still on a slippery slope to nowhere with regards to my adrenal gland that is still functioning on JHB days and in overdrive.

So Tuesday saw me hit the detox with a vengeance. I’m off coffee, haven’t had any wine and also eating according to the body composition diet. Basically I’m putting something in my mouth every two hours and I’m eating within 30min of waking, so that my body does not live on adrenaline but actually energy!
I can’t tell you the difference I feel! I had a nasty headache the first day but I’m fine now and I have SO much more energy. I don’t have that horrible fatigued feeling. So I’m really motivated to make this a lifestyle choice.

I’ve also joined the #100happydays challenge. I’m posting on Instagram under laurenabdo. I have been thinking of doing it for about 2 weeks already but three days ago something made me just sign up. (might have been the open page in my safari on my phone that I kept on looking at)

So yah it’s been a good week. Looking forward to spending some quality time with my boys this weekend and just chilling, maybe going to beach……