2015 round up

I cannot believe that I’m writing my catch up for 2015 already!

The years just seem to go by faster and faster and coupled with the goings on in this household this year, we barely blinked and it was already December!

Let’s do a rewind and look at our year.

January was a bit of a blur. Having a baby will do that to one. Ironically though it wasn’t the said baby that was the reason, but more the three infections I got after my Caesar which saw me spending most of January on  Antibiotics. That coupled with the chaos of finishing off the house that we started building in October 2015 made Jan the way it was.

February was much the same and then March was just pure CHAOS!! We finally got the keys though to our beautiful home at the end of March.  What followed was two manic weeks as I tried to get the house in some sort of order before going back to work.

The week before I was due to go back to work, I found my nanny sleeping with the Kat in the rocking chair. That’s not the problem…… Problem was that Kat (14 weeks old)  was propped on a pillow with no support and the nanny nearly dropped her, when I woke her.  So I had to scramble and get Kat into crèche before starting work again.

I subsequently went through two nannies , both of whom were useless but at the end of May we found the most amazing lady, without whom I’m not sure I would’ve gotten through this year. Kat just adores her and she has really become part of our family.

I was barely back at work when we went up to Hluhluwe for a weekend with friends. Kat hadn’t been well but really just had a chest which id been to the Dr for, and no real other symptoms. Thank heavens her brother spiked a temp with full blown tonsillitis which landed us at the ER on Sunday evening. I say thank heavens, because had we not gone I wouldn’t have had the Dr check Kat out and found out she has had full blown Bronchial Pneumonia! That landed us in hospital for a week and then followed by me on round 4 of antibiotics straight after.

So April was hard and so much harder being back at work than I expected. I thought it would be easier but all the time my heart just ached to be with my babies.

My wish was kinda granted, just not in the way I expected when work dropped the bombshell and announced they were retrenching me. It was the end to a very cr@ppy two years there and I must commend my boss who was very clever in how he got rid of me. He did it over a period of 7 months and yes I may sound a little bitter, which I am, only because he got away with his behaviour, but I will say this again and again, they did me THE HUGEST FAVOUR EVER!

So I had no choice but to follow my dream and go on my own. Yes, it was somewhat expedited (by about 10 years) but I have not looked back. And so Marketing Works was born. I now work for myself and get to spend the time with my babies that I so desperately wanted.

My business is thriving which is such an amazing blessing considering the challenges I have faced from a time perspective.  We’ve had  a really tough year with Dan , who has hardly slept and also put us through our paces. One of the changes we made in August was to bring him home after school instead of sending him to aftercare. It was the right move, but put immense pressure on me as working from home in the afternoons is practically impossible with him around. This meant many a late nights to catch up with work and has also resulted in me getting an office in the New Year, which I’m very excited about.

So watch this space. I foresee great things happenings for Marketing Works in 2016!!

On the work front for Daddy Abs. He has really carried a big load at his work and worked LONG  LONG hours.  This has seen him missing out on a lot of the kids’ lives and we can only hope that things will settle down for him in the New Year.

The year was not all doom and gloom and was interspersed with a few weekends away and also a trip to East London in July to see Daddy’s Abs’s folks.

In August I got to go away for the first time in 4 years! (for pleasure that is) Went to Cape Town for a girls weekend. I can CATEGORICALLY STATE IT WAS THE FRIKKING BEST TIME OF MY LIFE!!! Made me realise how in desperate need I am of me time. We had the most amazing time just me and my two girlfriends. Already planning 2016’s trip!

 

 

The Ginger turned 4 in September and has really grown as a little person and in character….lots of it!! As I mentioned it has not been the most pleasant year with him and he really has challenged us….well mostly me. This has left me feeling really sucky as a mom and a feeling like a huge failure in that department, but I think with the changes I’m putting in place next year, I’m hoping to be able to be more present and enjoy my time with him, not trying to always split myself into 20.  He also had a tonsillectomy shortly after his 4^th birthday. 10 days of hell, but hopefully we’re done with the constants chest infections, temps and miz boy!!

The Kat turned 1 last week! I know right???? Ridiculous! She is not walking or crawling…..she has totally missed the crawling memo and bum shuffles, it really is cute. She has been an absolute breeze and I’m still waiting for it to change. (I know wait till she’s 13!!) I have absolutely adored every minute with her and watching her learn and discover.

 

 

 

 

Other than that it’s been a long working year for us and culminated in an all nighter last night to finish off.  So finished is what we are!

Plans for next year?

Daddy Abs and I are in desperate need of some Adult time away from the Kids. So we’ve found ourselves two really nice babysitters who we are going to be making good use of. Frightening what a babysitter cost’s per hour, but it definitely is needed.

We have also sat down and planned our holidays for next year so that Daddy’s Abs can make the most of his measly 15 days. I super keen to get into camping. Still working on Daddy though.

Also I have big plans for finally getting fit. I’m still the size of a whale and I can no longer say I’ve just had a baby! So I’m going to get back onto the road more regularly and lose this weight!!

The ginger goes into his second year at a “seahorse’ into Grade 00. Its hard to believe that the year after that he’s in ‘big’ school.

Kat will stay at home with Busi and will go to a little crèche in about April and will hopefully get offered a spot as a ‘Turtle’at school with Daniel the following year. Will be nice to have both kids at one school.

So to sum it up:  It’s been a year of learning, new beginnings, building new friendships and finally binning the hurtful and toxic ones. I am very positive for a great 2016!  I think it’s going to be a great year for the Abdo’s

So without further ado on this Christmas eve…… A very merry Christmas to you and your loved ones. May this be a really blessed time with Family and friends and may the coming year be filled with all you hoped and dreamed off.

Mommy Abs

xx

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31 things

*its a long one beware and there will be moaning, bitching but then I guess that’s the beauty of it being my space – Reminds me of the lyrics: it’s my party…… 😉 *

The title is one of my first posts I wrote in my head about 5 weeks ago! Since then I’ve written about another dozen in my head so I guess It’s pretty apt as there is so much that has happened, so much to talk to, so many thoughts to offload…. Although 31 things doesn’t really come close…. More like 61!!

Adjusting to my new life.I won’t lie I’m taking some serious getting used to this working from home thing. Don’t get me wrong it’s still the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but if I had to look at the past two months objectively and I was the boss, which I am, I’d have fired me long ago!!! My business takes last place. After, family, maid, house and the list goes on. And that’s seriously wrong. I should be ploughing serious hours into this business and instead I’m spinning around doing all other cr@p that’s not ‘expected’ of me yet just ends on my plate. Every Monday though I regroup and start over and try again… I fail….. but at least in trying. I’m doing surprisingly well considering the effort being put in and have signed 3 clients this month. God has been so good to me.

Mothers guilt. I thought It would be different being at home with Kat but it’s just morphed into different forms but it’s still there. Just proves that us women and mothers are SO good at feeling guilty for just living! My latest guilt is the fact that I have to stop breastfeeding. The Kat,post my Cape Town trip, has just point blank refused to feed. I’ve had a few successes but she’s on the whole just not interested anymore. I’m mostly sad and very heart sore but also feel guilty that I went to Cape Town (I frikking know right?!?) And then there’s the ginger. He’s sleeping really badly AGAIN and I permanently feel it’s my fault for not spending enough quality time as I’m always running myself raggard with 1001 things and short with him. So of course it’s my fault right?!??

On running myself raggard.I seems to be in a permanent spin and the list never seems to get smaller. And every so often I will get an older lady ie not my generation tell me that I’m soooooo lucky to have a husband who’s hands on with the kids. And I read a blog post the other day which really summed it up for me. I am lucky because there are many husbands that don’t help. BUT that doesn’t mean I should have to accept always coming last out of the 4 of us or having to perform 40 tasks for every one someone else in the house does. Or as a women do I? Your thoughts?

Cape Town- 2.5 days 2 nights. 4 wine estate, waterfront, night out. 2 best friends and NO children. 

That pretty much sums it up. Heaven doesn’t come close to describing how frikking amazing the time was. It made me realise just how neglected I’ve felt and how much I’ve lost touch with myself. I laughed so much my belly hurt, I lived on a staple diet of cheese, red wine, champagne and ice cream. It was just amazing and made me treasure the two special friends I went with. I’ve only known them just over a year and they truly have supported me through a tough year. Those type of people you hang into. Most of all there is just no cr@p with them, which is really hard to find, especially with females ( we’re a special species 😉

Weekends away and conditions for travel. 

We were away again this weekend. It the second and last of our two annual weekend away. We we’re at Castleburn. It’s our first time and it’s really lovely. I packed totally incorrectly for us as it was quite warm even tho the max temp was only supposed to be 22 deg. It must be really beautiful in summer and has a lovely pool which the kids could make use of. There are also great activities for the kids, trampoline, tennis courts, paddle boats, jungle gym etc. My first impression is that we’ll be back.

BUT and there is a very big but. There will be conditions for travel going forward. I will no longer be trying to pack this family of four myself and then driving like a banshee to fetch daddy Abs from work and then arriving in the cold and dark with two kids who have slept and hour already and then have to settle in an unfamiliar environment. It’s not a great start for every weekend for me. I arrived stressed and raggard and just not conducive for good family time and I’m done doing it. I’ve been doing this for 4 years and the conditions for travel will be that we rather go away less but definitely not after work. It just don’t work!!

(Oh and on an aside and totally random……. I  was sitting outside on the Saturday and saw a hearse pull up and escort a dead body out a unit from across the road. What the hell. Not often you see that whilst on holiday!!!

The Kat.

Every day I fall more and more in love with her. She’s a smart cookie this one. Very expressive with her hand (secretly I hope she’ll play the piano like her momma ) and she communicates so well when she wants to tell you something. She is a beautiful 9kgs with thighs and cellulite to die for. The kind you jsut wanna sink your teeth into. I’m truly very blessed that I’m able to watch her sprout before my eyes, even if it makes me a little heartsore in the process.

The Ginger.

We’ve just done his 9/10/11th bout , sorry i lose track, of Tonsillitis. This was a particularly bad round with temps hitting 41 degrees and battling to break them. We have an appointment with Dr Desmarais at the end of the month as I think it’s time we get them out. Not looking forward to it and have some serious fears about it , thanks to my best friend who has scared the kak out of me (her little one had a really bad experience) So yah I’m hoping Desmarais will be able to alleviate some of my fears. Other than that he’s a real sweetheart and coming up with the most precious things. He turns four next week can you believe it and we’re having a little party at home for him. It’s a dinosaur theme. Really need to get my A into G and get cracking on  the decor. (ADD TO LIST OF 31 THINGS)

And here we are Spring is here, can you believe its September!!! I have my diet on and starting to shed my scaly and pale skin. * note to self , get legs into sun, you can no longer live at the coast and be THIS pale, not a great advert for coastal living * And that’s pretty much me in a not so concise short nutshell.

And the way its going….until next month take care. 🙂

Dark spaces and happy days…a catch up

It’s 5:54am and I’m awake….have been since 4:30 when I fed Kat, who then decided it was far more fun to stay awake. She’s now asleep in the swing of course and I have to be up in 6min as I’m singing in church this morning for the Easter service so that my sleep done! 

Got love kids and we choose to do this?!? The above picture is why… Because we watch them when they sleep and marvel at how perfect they are even when they’ve woken us at 4:30am.

So let’s catch up quickly before I have to get ready. 

 

We’re in the house! At long last the dream of close on two years materialised and we got the keys to our beautiful home on the 21st march. We moved on the Saturday and won’t lie it’s been chaos and was by far the hardest moves I have ever done and trust me I’ve moved 13 times in 10 years so I know what I’m talking about. There is still so much dust and dirt and everything is just harder with two small kids. Also doesn’t help that daddy Abs is still working his butt off at work an therefore not able to assist and at night too tired to help so basically I’ve had to do it on my own. 

The ginger has finally adjusted and seems to be far more settled now finally as we’ve been pulled through the ringer with him! He was just playing up and it’s so nice to see him mostly back to the sweet little boy we once knew. Biggest problem for me was the regression in his potty training. He started to poo in his pants and everyone said don’t make a big scene about it but after three months I just felt that everyone else’s advice was not working for us as I really felt he knew what was going on. So we were on our third change of undies one day and I was doing something in the kitchen when I heard: ‘oh no, the poos coming out.’ All nonchalantly as if it was ok. Well I smacked him on the bum, marched him off to the loo and said to him this is how it’s gonna be going forward. You poo in your pants and you will get smacked, you will also be punished and have no treats. Do you understand? He didn’t even cry and said yes he understood and since then we’ve had no accidents. It just shows you all the books and google in the world can’t prepare you for parenthood and you HAVE to go with your gut because EVERY child is different. 

What would my life be if there wasn’t a little drama 4 days before I go back to work??? Well we had a little nanny saga. So two months ago I started having a wobbly about Kat being so young when I go back to work (3.5mths, her brother was 5 and there is a big difference!) so I started to consider that maybe I could use some full time help at home and also keep Kat at home for the first year. So in went thru and agency and found a nanny. She started at the beginning of March  and at first seemed really amazing. But then I started realising she really didn’t know what she was doing. I’m very emotional about going back to work and so I said to daddy Abs I wasn’t making an rash decisions and would see how it went during my first month back. That was expedited when I walked into the nursery three days ago and found her asleep in the rocking chair. The problem was not that she had dozed off but that my precious daughter was perched on a pillow on her lap and was not supported and could’ve rolled off. I know she would’ve said how sorry she was and that it would’ve happen again but I knew in my heart of hearts she wasn’t qualified for the job and that I wouldn’t be able to go to work on Tuesday confident that Kat was safe. So I went to Daniels old crèche and by the grace if God Kat’s place was still available and she starts on my first day. Need to now get my head around packing school bags etc for two, going to be interesting times .

 Daddy Abs and I had a long hard chat a few nights ago and really going to have to hit the routine hard during the week. It’s the only was we will survive. I for one am looking forward to it as I thrive on routine and is how I am most effective and achieved most things in my life…. Daddy Abs acknowledges it’s the only ways we’ll for everything in however it doesn’t come naturally to him so we’ll see 🙂

 So tomorrow is Easter Sunday a very momentum day for us Christians. Going to be an interesting one as the ginger is still to young to really grasp the full concept of the crucifixion but yet we still don’t want it to be all the about the bunny.

 This also marks for me a really sad time as I will be going back to work in two days. My maternity leave didn’t work out at all how I planned it would. Katherine has grown like a weed right before my eyes yet I’ve been doing everything but watching her grow up and I’d be lying if I wasn’t bitterly disappointed about that. But i won’t harp on that  here as I’ve written a really crappy, dark, bitter and twisted post on it, which I’m still contemplating posting 🙂

My dad is regressing yet still has good days… What an oxymoron. I still remain true to the wish that I do not want him to feel anymore pain and that he would just fall asleep and not wake up, but with the baptism of our baby girl in June, my mom’s 70th and my brother and his family coming out one selfishly hopes he’d stick it out till then. But there will alway be another birthday, milestone or something we want him to stay for, it’s the human condition. Just when I think I’m ready for him to go I find a reason for it not to be ok. A stroke has got to be the shittest and cruelest thing to happen to someone. 

On a brighter note:

I ran to the gym today and as those beautiful endorphins kicked in I dreamt of marathons I would enter and felt so much better. 

I have been thinking of doing another #100happydays mainly because I’ve spent the past few weeks in a really bad space and I think it’s time to focus on the good of which there is lots . Right now I’m I’m in the midst of sleep deprivation and going back to work and trying to find my feet in all of this that I’m not sure I want to add to that pile. If I change my mind tho this space will be the first to know.

So that’s me in a nutshell and best I get to bed before the Kat wakes for her first feed. 

7 weeks and all the change

It’s been 7 weeks since our little girl entered this world and turned the little semblance of normality we had upside down. I remember my sister saying to me many years ago, motherhood is the greatest leveler and with round 2 it is no different.
She is different to Daniel so in many respects we’ve had to re-learn stuff her way.

Kat has been a DREAM compared to the ginger. She has really been easy which I needed because the past few weeks health wise haven’t been. At the beginning of last week I had my 6 week check up at the gynae only to walk out with my 3rd script for antibiotics because my scar is inflamed and January isn’t even over!!! So I’ve really battled health wise and the healing from this Caesar has been challenging. Then to further exacerbate things I ended back at gynae the next day because scar stared bleeding profusely. Only to be told it’s just fluid ( yes lady blood is fluid) and then she proceeded to lance the bleeding spot again further opening it up to stick earbud shaped swabs into it to clean it out and send me on my merry way. So needless to say I was little tearful about it when i got home and needed a glass of wine!!

Three weeks ago Kat woke up and we entered the world of Colic altho I got told because she doesn’t scream for hours on end it’s not colic…. So call it what YOU want, it’s that not-being-able-to-settle-baby-for-hours-at-bedtime thing. So at this present moment I’m walking on our patio while the much needed rain falls outside and Kat is in a sling moulded to my body. This is tonight’s ‘new try’ as each night we aim to conquer her terrible colic and hopefully eat supper before 9!
It’s a new one for us in that we never battled to get the ginger down. It was keeping him down that was the problem. And as all parents have said. Your kids are always totally different and our situation is no different. This is all new for us. Once she’s down however she’ll pull a 6 hr stint. It’s the getting her down!!

Along with usual finding our feet comes the things you forget about from first time round… Some of which has had me giggling mostly in the early hours of the morning.

It’s the shoveling biscuits down in the passage with your antibiotics or painkillers before going into the nursery to feed.
It’s Sitting in the rocking chair while she niggles only to wake up an hour an a half later, still in the rocking chair!
It’s the massive thirst after feeding finding you drinking 500ml juice (straight out the carton) at 2am before returning to bed.
It’s the changing of bums which requires three nappies because every time you put a clean on one she poos again!!!

And in the 7 weeks there’s been lots of change not only with the Kat who is changing everyday but with the Ginger who started big school two weeks ago. Although it’s Gr000 it’s big school because when he goes to Gr R he’ll just go to a new class at the same school so there won’t be another first day of big school for me.
He also stayed over at his ‘girlfriend ‘ Lilly’s house last week and didn’t even wake or ask for me.

And with the Kat the change is daily. Last week saw me packing newborn stuff away… It’s all going too fast!!
I find myself smelling her clothes and holding her just a little bit longer when she’s sleeping. Last week I tried her on an expressed bottle. She like her brother clearly has no issue where it comes from or from what vessel!! And crazily so I was sad because it’s just another milestone, another change.

So although it’s pretty darn tough I won’t wish it away. I won’t because when the niggling and days where I hold her all day are over so will be my time with her and my heart absolutely breaks at the thought that I will have to go back to work in 7 weeks, she only be 3 months old!!

But Rich and I have already stretched beyond our means for me to take these precious months that we can’t stretch any further… A friend said to me no matter what age they are when you go back to work it hurts, a hurt you can’t describe…But it makes me sick that she won’t even been a little person in her own right and I’ll be back sitting at a desk wishing for nothing else but to have my baby in my arms.

So in all the sleeplessness and haze of colic, new schools, sleep overs without me, I truly treasure what I have and the moments I have with these little people because they’re growing up fast!!

2014 A summary

Ok so this post has taken me two weeks to get up mainly due to charming wifi or should I say lack thereof at our rental and having a newborn and a toddler not at school (more to follow on that after this). So without further adieu…..2014

There is no way to sugar coat it…..2014 has been a hard year!!!

As 2014 rolled in the new year just blended with 2013 as both Rich and I hardly had any leave, me due to work not shutting down and Rich not having many days due to him.

We did take the odd day here and there, one in January to celebrate our wedding anniversary, married 5 years. Then we also took Valentines days to head up to JHB for a good friend Mark’s 50th birthday.

That weekend was a disaster! It started with a brow wax gone really wrong and I walked around with a super roasty on my brow looking like id been given a swift slap to the face. Daniel had not been feeling well and regressed superbly on the drive up resulting in temperatures of over 40 deg and a trip to the ER. Fortunately we were in our old hometown so at least knew where to go….

Prior to that tho we’d been pulled thru the ringer as a family as my dad had a kidney stone op and ended up with septicemia and nearly died! Basically they told us he was in heart failure and it was a matter of time! But somehow by the grace of God he survived.

Then in March we were told that our long term rental wasn’t going to be so long term and that we had to move again and find a short term rental…. So I began packing boxes….making that move 12 in the last decade.

In March we finally submitted our plans to municipality and the house dream seemed to become a reality.

We also had a super weekend at Oribi gorge with my folks over the pubic holiday in March. Little did we know that this would be one of the last weekends with my dad the way we will remember him.

In April we headed to East London for Easter. It was an exciting weekend as we found out we were expecting our second child who we affectionately called Ablet as we didn’t find out the sex.

31st May marked a year of us being in Ballito and I can finally say in many ways we are settled. Being in a rental doesn’t help the settling so looking forward to being in our new home.

In June we had our early commencement for the build and had our meeting with our builder. We were excited because it still looked possible we were going to be finished in time for Christmas.

That’s when the year turned super kak….

On the 16th June my father had a TIA ( small stroke) he seemed do to be fine and on the 23rd my mom arrived to fetch him to find his room empty. She called us sobbing and said he’d had a massive stroke and was in ICU.

What followed was months of physical therapy speech therapy and rehab centers. I truly believed my dad would make a full recovery but in October following test results that showed my dad’s carotid artery is completely damaged making recovery impossible and coupled with regression in his speech we made the decision to stop all therapy and to keep dad comfortable.

So in October we had to adjust to the new norm in our family which is one that is vastly different. The life and soul of the party is present but completely mute. We no longer understand what he says and it’s now about enjoying the time we have with my dad.

For me it selfishly became about him meeting my unborn child and being able to hold him/her. Which he got to do first ….and I got to see and that will forever be etched in my memory.

We did also get away for two weekends to the Drakensberg which was good for us as a family as many weekends had been spent with me at the hospital and Daddy Abs looking after the ginger.

All the while in the background the build that was due to start in June only began October due to fights with the neighbours and retaining walls taking two months to complete. So sadly we didn’t make it in for Christmas which in retrospect when you’re having a baby is not such a bad thing.

In October we headed up to the bush for the weekend to celebrate Daddy Abs’ s birthday with good friends of ours…. Weekend was a disaster from a service perspective but was out right by the hotel who has offered us a weekend away all expenses paid in Feb.

So yah not a pretty year for us but most certainly ended on a high with us welcoming our beautiful Daughter Katherine Marie Abdo into the world.

She’s just perfect and when I look at her the year doesn’t seem so bad and I’m renewed with hope for a 2015.

And isn’t that what it’s about? It’s not about how many times you fall it’s about picking yourself up, dusting off and starting again.

So I choose for it to be a GOOD year!
We are moving into our beautiful home in 8 weeks, our ginger will start big school in 2 and we get to experience the first year of a little person’s life, first smile, first giggle, first steps….. Now that’s pretty awesome.

My prayer for you is that 2015 rocks your world and is filled with blessings no matter how big or small.

Much love
Lol x

Just keep swimming

I don’t seem to write nor do I want to write because I didn’t want this space to be a negative one…. And it’s become that!!

And let’s face it no one wants to read about other peoples kak!

It just never seems to stop though and I had visions of this year, the year of our build, the year of us having our second baby being SOOOO different!

My base level of stress is so high and I’m so fearful of preterm labour, and Rich and I are like two passing ships in the night…. I miss him. . Damn I miss my old life!

An update.

So it’s been two really stressful weeks at the office. Ballito is a small village and so best I don’t say too much….. But yah I really have questioned at times what I’m doing there willing the weeks by so I can be on maternity leave. I eventually made a tough decision on a role I was offered putting myself and family first but it came with major anxiety at the repercussions raising those stress levels which is not good. Hopefully alls well and ends well and things will look up. Soon!

Dad ended up in Hospital on Friday night making me realise just how fragile he is. I thought I was ready to let him go but I’m not and I don’t want him to go. Selfishly I’d rather still have him around. I realise that every time I still get to wrap my arms around him… He has the ability to make me feel everything will be ok even without saying a word.

The build continues to take its toll as we are totally out of control and don’t know who to trust …the neighbour continues to pull stunts and again I don’t have my dad’s legal backing to make our rights heard. So it’s hard. On a positive note though we should throw our foundations and slab in the next week or two and hopefully all before the big rains come.

Baby continues to grow and I now feel the Ablet a lot more. It’s reassuring and also such a blessing. There is nothing greater or more amazing in this world than feeling a baby move in your belly.

I’m finding it hard accept my best friends rejection (for the second time round) of this pregnancy. She had just begun her infertility journey when I was pregnant with the ginger and as a result made the first 18weeks of that pregnancy really hard. Although she vowed she would be ok this time round her silence proves otherwise. I just find it hard that she’s ok throwing away 10yrs of friendship after I stood by her ivf after ivf. But then I’ve conceived two kids pretty easily and she can’t have a second so I guess who am I to judge… Just hard and I’m battling to put her into the reason season lifetime box. Never thought she’d be a season in my life.

The ginger has really grown up and I can’t wait for rich’s folk to see him this coming week. He is such a delight…. You wouldn’t say so if you knew that I’d written this entire post whilst walking around the complex while he throws a complete fit in the bath!!
But he’s still my special and I love him. Most of the time 🙂

So yah…. Lots going on…. As dory says: just keep swimming. I do sometimes wish for a little bit of a reprieve… Not sure it’s coming this year tho if the first 8 months have been anything to go by!!

Reality

Its been so long since I wrote I’m not sure where to begin.

It’s been a frikking awful month, let me just get that out there! Now that being said, we are however on the other side….well almost and things seems to be looking up in parts.

The Build:

This will come as NO surprise to anyone that has built a house but its been a nightmare! The best part is we haven’t even started the foundations. All this kak  has been around retaining walls and neighbours and well plain and simple, just too many cooks in the kitchen!! Doesn’t help working a full day, being pregnant ,having a household to run and the saga with my dad.

But as I said things seems to be looking up and so far we’ve had two good days with things kind of falling into place and it looks like the walls will be done by Thursday and that we can start cutting foundations

Lessons learnt:

• Don’t get too many people involved – too many cooks spoil the broth
• Go with your gut
• Don’t involved friends as service providers  – even if you are paying them, you still somehow lose power and cant make decisions without the complication of hurting feelings or not being able to say what you really feel.

Midlands weekend:

It wasn’t all doom and gloom. We did have a weekend away booked. And it couldn’t have come at a better time. Rich and I at that stage were at our wits end with the build and very stressed about a whole host of things.

We went to the Midlands saddle and trout and what a lovely place. We really relaxed in the short time we were there and got to spend some quality time as a family….something that hadn’t happened since Dad’s stroke.

Dad:

It’s not good. Dad spent two weeks in Entabeni Rehab facility and really battled. It’s a great facility in terms of therapy but its a still a hospital and so we prayed about it and then things kind of fell into place for us to bring him home. It’s flipping hard tho. Although we have a full time carer to assist mom, it’s a full time job for her and mom is taking serious strain,as are we all. People that dont see dad for a few weeks notice a huge recovery. We on the other hand not so much. We also received some news after seeing the neurologist that Dad’s scans show that his carotid artery that is feeding the good side of hte brain is totally calcified and the one feeding the damaged brain is not so good either. There is nothing that can be done and so we now are in the hands of God and leaving it up to faith. There is nothing else that one can do but pray and hope for a miracle.

On a positive note Dad is able to stand up and “Walk” assisted – by kicked up the paralysed leg and then stepping on it. There are also good days where he will say a full sentence. For example he said to me clearly on Sunday: “how – do – you-do- it” referring to the loom band craze of my nieces …he was asking how you make the looms band bracelets.  But mostly its still monolgues and there is very definitely major damage.

It hard because one can’t help but wish to turn the clock back. I wish I had played the guitar more with him. I wish i’d sung that extra song. I wish I’d had this baby sooner so that he would have known it. It makes me sick to the pit of my stomach with regret and its so sad that it takes something so tragic to make you appreciate life and what you have…had

But we continue to pray for a miracle and who knows Dad may just talk again and oh how I long for a conversation with my father!

The Ginger:

Daniel continues to be the most amazing source of joy in our lives. He is growing into the most amazing kid. Maybe my love is also blossoming because he has clearly been going through a growth spurt and as a result is eating us out of house and home and then been sleeping in till 6:30am for the past three mornings!!! I am also treasuring the one on one time I have with him and spending as much time as I can with him in the afternoons before bed. This involves a lot of lying on the couch but I really am treasuring these moments before baby 2 arrives

The Ablet:

The belly continues to grow and can you believe I’m 22 weeks already! Its been a very stressful pregnancy with the situation with my dad and baby is a very quiet one. So I was most relieved to go for a high foetal scan at 20 weeks and Dr Borat was lovely and assured me that everything is as it should be. He also confirmed that my placenta is anterior which is why I dont feel many kicks from the little one.

I was however very blessed that Rich got to feel the Ablet kick for the second time last night. (first time was 7 weeks ago!) Its a very special moment even the second time.

And that’s life in a nutshell blog post.

Coming up is a weekend away with our church. We missed it last year as we had just joined CCNC. Really looking forward to it and spending time making new friends.

Then in two weekends time we are celebrating the gingers 3rd birthday. It’s cowboy party and the only two requests were a toy story cake and jumping castle. No guess what he’s getting then 🙂

So a busy few weekends ahead

Its been a bit of a Statue month

There’s been so much going on this last month I’m not sure where to begin nor which topic to tackle first.
So best I just write and I apologise in advance for the hodge podge of information that shall now be spewed forth.

So we’ve moved house… Again…. A mere 11 since relocating from Johannesburg to our new home Ballito. I don’t care how you do it, it’s not fun and it’s even harder when there is a little person involved. Thank heavens for our friends Marius and Kerry who took the ginger to the animal farm for a couple of hours. This allowed us to just get beds made and a little semblance of a house put together before he came home. We used a lovely removal service and will definitely use her again. But moving still sucks and my 11th move in the past decade was no different from any of the others.

There was the usual teething issues with having to get keys cut and of course the one that never ceases to amaze me, the replacement of bulbs!! Who lives with no lights? The pearler for me has got to be the main bedroom which didn’t have a single light in it and still doesnt….we’re getting there!!

But a week down the line the strife seems to be coming to an end.

The past month has been really hard and has come with a lots of kak. And daddy Abs and I are feeling really a bit beaten and a little like the statue at the moment ( you know the one that all the birds sh1t on!!)

To start with it was the Bi polar psychotic chick who was high on drugs when she reversed into me. Who then accused my husband of stalking her on FB.  It went like this: ” I told you I will pay you at the end of the month. Please I beg you stop harassing me. I do not have money. Why don’t you give me a break. What do you want blood. My God, I am unemployed. I had a medical bill. Don’t you have any feelings. Why is your husband harrrasing me 😦 please tell him to stop. I will pay I swear. Just stop stalking me please.”

All cos I kindly agreed earlier that day (a convo she’d forgotten) to let her pay to fix my car over 3 months and when I asked her if she’s paid she wrote this. Whahahaha so I’ve laughed that off as she’s not stable and following everything going on I don’t have the energy.

Strike two was when the body corporate in our old place turned off the electricity in our garage, as they were moving onto a metered system and informed the owners who didn’t respond so they just turned it off. Problem was we had R900 worth of food in our freezer that was destroyed!

Strike 3. We were given notice on our place and kindly accommodated the owners and found a place earlier than the expiry of our lease. We asked for permission to leave early and were granted it. Then when we asked for reimbursement for the days as we left prior to the end of the month, we were not so politely told to go get fried!!

Strike 4:Then on night two in our new place the neighbour above us played his music so loud the windows were vibrating. At
10:15pm we approached him. He was abusive and threaten myself and my husband. He then proceeded to play music just as loud and periodically he and his friends stood and jumped on the floor above our bedroom. Mature I know!

Strike 5. You know what? actually I’m going to stop there! There is a strike 5,6,7  but it really is exhausting writing about it and actually no one really cares!!!

It’s not all bad. There’s some really good stuff happening.

• Today we meeting with another guy who is hopefully going to cost the build for us. And hopefully we’ll be getting our approved plans back from municipality soon.
• We are finally in our house and the neighbour above is moving out at the end of the month. I new place is really lovely and will be nice home for us until our build is done.
• Work is good for me and I’m busy and finally doing proper marketing which I’m loving.
• The public holidays are finally over ( I know I’m happy about that, crazy right?) but I’m glad they’re done cos it’s been really disruptive and looking forward to getting back into a routine, especially for the gingers sake.
• And lastly I made my mark today for our country. I’m proud about that and I really hope that I was able to make a difference.

So its not all bad and hopefully the pigeons will disperse and the sh!tting on the Abdo Statue will abate for a bit 🙂

Life oh life, oh life, oh life, do do do do……

So I’ve kind of set our moving into motion. Whilst we still have two months before our lease officially ends I’ve started looking for a place cos I figure the move is inevitable and we will move twice this year like it or not, so there is no point kicking and screaming. Again this little town has proven it’s not what you know but who…..and after phoning several agents (who are nothing but useless!! – and I can make a comment like this as it’s my second time looking for rentals in 7 months- I’m experienced!!) So as I was saying after phoning several USELESS agents I asked Daniel’s teacher if she knew of a place and in half and hour I had a contact who has a place. Saw it, loved it, and just waiting to see if the owner will accept a shorter lease till December when our house will hopefully be done!

House you ask? Yip well our plans are in council and we’re just waiting to ask for early commencement. Now for those that have built a house I can hear you all saying she’s smoking her socks thinking it’ll be done by the end of the year. But I’m remaining really hopeful that our rainy season will not halt too much building and that yes we will in fact be in our new home by Christmas. It seems rather surreal that we’re building our own home and I absolutely cannot wait to break ground…..watch this space.

On the ginger front: we had our School interview this week and Daniel has been accepted. It was so funny…it couldn’t have been more perfect. We arrived as it was break time and he saw both his cousins and ran up to them as the principal arrived! Rachel (the older) is a prefect and Jess no doubt will be too, they are such amazing Kids and I was so proud to say they were “my” girls. Daniel was also on top form and he was his ever engaging self. He is such an amazing kid and confident and full of life. He has the most amazing zest for life. The other day I bought him two pairs of shoes and I say to him: “My baby do you want to see what I bought you?“ he claps his hands with glee and shouts ‘yes mommy’ and so I show him and tell him that once we’ve been into the shops we‘ll go home and try them on and he replies: Ooooh mommy eeeegggciiiiting!!

Back to the school thing though….. finally get how Grade R (age 6/7) and first day of school is a big thing for moms, cos as I sent the forms and the deposit today to secure his place a little bit of me held back. My baby is getting to big SO fast and I actually dreaded how my little guy would walk into school in a uniform (albeit a t-shirt and shorts) and I worried how he would lose the lunchtime sleep and just be a BIG boy.

But I gave myself a good talking to and put my big girl panties on and moved on….that’s a moment to get choked up on in Jan 2015!!

Only three weeks to Easter can you frikking believe it, and a trip to EL in the pipeline (Rich’s hometown) which we’re really looking forward to having been back last in October 2012.

And maybe a house move in a the interim….who knows….just going with the flow here in Ballitoville 🙂

Christmas catch up

I know the title is Christmas catch up and its already the middle of Jan….don’t judge me its been a hectic start to the year!!!

We had a lovely few days with Rich’s parents. They came on the 22nd and left on the 30th December.
The house was pushed to its limits, reminding us just how tiny our rental is (roll on the house build!!!)

On Christmas day we all went our separate ways to church and then came home and opened pressies.
Daniel of course was spoilt stupid! It was funny to watch though ,that out of all his pressies, he loved the cheapest one…. giant jumbo thick chalks Judy my mother in law bought him.

  

I unfortunately had to work till the 24th so didn’t get to spend too much time with the family but it was still good to see them.

Daniel true to form when we have guests was a nightmare, so we spent the days scrambling to keep him quiet while family tried to sleep…..not easy ….not fun.

On the 30th though our house turned empty and we had a few days just the three of us, before heading back to work.
We tried to catch up on sleep as best we could and just spent as much time with Daniel as possible. Man alive that child is full on at the moment. He goes from the minute he opens his eyes till the moment falls asleep.

But it was a good time just the three of us…..and just as we started to relax it was sadly back to work. What with that….it always happens like that , just as you start to relax….ding dong….work bell rings!!!

The year has started full pace and we back into the swing of things, eagerly looking at weekends we can get away and chill…..watch this space