This way that way…..which is the right way?

I’ve been a little quiet….again!
It’s funny how this should be a space where I should get my feelings out and yet in the tough/busy times I write in my head instead and only once processed seem to share….nothing wrong with it, just the way I’m wired I guess….

So friends of ours has a little baby boy a week ago…..short labour, no drugs, NATURAL labour and it reared its ugly head….The fact that I had a caesarean!!!

This is where all men will stop reading and all ladies who have had an unplanned caesarean will prick up their ears because they too will get it….

Following the birth of my son I felt cheated and really battled the way my birth had played out. I think it played a significant role in how I dealt with new motherhood.

If you had asked me straight after the birth what I was going to do with no 2 it was DEFINITE VBAC (Vaginal birth after caesarean) and in the months that have passed I still want it as badly but the fear of the things that can go wrong are starting to outweigh the want and desire. You see if your uterus ruptures your baby can end up in your stomach and baby can die or have serious brain damage and you could end up with a hysterectomy……told you it was serious

My reason for wanting a natural is simple. I have little boy who is active and I really battled after my Caesar to do anything. I battled getting active again and I battled with living in a haze with all the pain meds , never mind the consequences of taking all those pain med (filed under the TMI to-much-information section ) So I want to be able to bounce back like women do with a natural. Then my otyher reason is one that I can’t explain. I want to be able to give birth naturally. I feel cheated, I feel like I didn’t get it right……never mind all the kak we had with Daniel following the Caesar…..

You’re in luck though because I have processed this and this is what I’ve come up with.

I’m not going to plan my Caesar, I want the excitement of now knowing when he/she will arrive. Just as we will not find out what we are having. I will however not put my needs before my unborn child , it’s a fact of motherhood, you kids come first form the moment they are created. And so I have decided I will have a Caesar because ultimately I never want anything bad to happen and I would never forgive myself if anything did.

Who’s been down this road and what did you decide in the end? Because Goggle only tells you the bad. So I won’t lie I’m afraid, very afraid and I think I’ve made up my mind….

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4 comments on “This way that way…..which is the right way?

  1. jenty says:

    Cant’ help… I’m quite happy I had caesars.

  2. Nina says:

    The only reason I didn’t want a c-section was because it’s a major surgery which would take longer to heal. As far as the emotional aspect of it, I guess I just didn’t place too much emphasis on childbirth. It was something that I had to do to meet my babies, and whichever method would be the least complicated and the safest would be the route I would go.

    I didn’t end up getting a c-section even for my twins because they met all the criteria for a vaginal birth. I’m actually glad because I am a wuss when it comes to knives and stitches and all that.

    With my first birth I had a vaginal and I didn’t bounce back easily because of the tears and the stitches. With my twins, I didn’t tear and therefore bounced back pretty quickly. So it all depends I think on whether you get stitches or not.

  3. punkie529 says:

    I cried in my hospital room when they told me I had to have a c-section with my oldest.I felt like such a failure at parenting and I hadn’t even started yet! But, a nurse came in and reassured me, she told me they were just pretty sure the baby was too big, and being delivered could kill him, and break me. I agreed, I had about the worst c-section you could imagine. I ended up being knocked out, and 5 hours later met my little boy when I woke up. My 10 lbs 9 oz and 23 inch long baby boy. Whose feet were too big to fit on the card for his footprints. I’m 5’3″ and before the pregnancy, weighed 130. I too felt cheated. I’d been told for years my giant hips would come in handy when I had a baby, and I felt, irrationally, like I’d been lied to. The recovery was miserable. I wasn’t supposed to lift anything over 10 pounds…yeah, right. The meds made me so sleepy, and in return made the baby so sleepy he didn’t eat, he just fell asleep with me.

    I changed drs with my second son, and the 2nd Dr said he would NOT do v-bac. I was not real happy, but I stayed with him. We chose the baby’s birthday, 2.5 weeks before his due date. He was 9 lbs 1 oz and 21 inches long. I had a panic attack going into the hospital because my previous c-section was so bad. But, I got there. I was awake the whole time. I held my baby immediately. I had him early in the morning and i remember napping quite a bit that day. But, there was very little “recovery”. I was up and walking that evening. My parents were there that night, and I had to get up to use the bathroom, and I got up before my husband could get over to help me. Within a week, while I wasn’t at 100% I was definitely able to take care of everything I needed too. I wasn’t taking really strong pain killers either by the end of the week. It was an ENTIRELY different (and MUCH better) experience the second time.

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