What would you do with your beans?

I saw this on Jenty’s facebook feed today and I really wanted to share it with you. It really hit home (i.e I shed a few tears 🙂 ) I know I’m soft, we know this already!!

But it really just prompted my thoughts and feelings and the goings on for the past week.

I have a few things I’ve been wanting to say, so this may be a little bit of a garbled post, but stick with me, I’m hoping it‘ll all tie up when I’m done.

So what do you do with your remaining beans?

I know for sure that I spend WAY WAY WAY too much time worrying to the point that I worry that one day I’ll make myself sick with the worrying I do. So I resolve daily (because I fail daily) to spend more time enjoying life and less worrying.

Part of that enjoyment has been the time I’ve been spending with Daniel lately. Being a working mom I have very little time with my ginger during the week. But lately I have been spending a lot of time with him on the couch snuggling. Random I know but amazing!! For some reason he has been asking me to “la la” with him on the couch and I HAVE and you know what EVERY time I have , it has totally trumped the task I have had to leave , the dishes that have needed to wash or the supper I’ve needed to make (fancy that!!)

On Saturday we lay on the couch for an hour. I snuggled into him more that he into me and closed my eyes while we he watched cartoons.
He held my hand and few times even patted me, like I pat his back sometimes….. I reckon that was a bloody marvelous way to spend those “beans” 🙂

This morning we brushed teeth and sang the Barney brushing teeth song (You know, come sing with me: Oh, I’m brushing my teeth on the bottom ‘Cause I wouldn’t wanna say that I forgot em’ …..) and I relished in the fact that I got to dance and sing while I brushed my teeth. I think it was a great way to spend my brushing- teeth- beans (when was the last time you danced whilst brushing your teeth?)

So yip I’m resolving to spend my beans way better than I have been. You’re probably  wondering why I’m all floaty and smiley and shiny happy people on you guys …..maybe because the Ginger is also sleeping through…yes people you heard me correctly……. For about a week now……and I’m not sure if I should be posting this, I’m hesitant because I’m SOOOOOO scared I’m going to jinx it!


And you know what? I’ve forgotten what a flipping nice person I am when I’ve had sleep. I’m mean I’m really really nice 

While I’m on the things that hit you hard bandwagon….I thought I’d just end off with a few randoms I’ve picked up of FB, Twitter etc the past few weeks. Haven’t done one of these for a while.
** none of the pics are mine **

So here goes… my motto going forward


I think my ginger and Daddy Abs are a good place to start…


A lesson for me in the worrying department. Its not what others think of you but what you think of yourself.




Hysterical for me…..Because I came “blame it on the bunny” but i just don’t run enough anymore …..

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Have a great Thursday everyone!

Im the devil mommy…but I may just sleep tonight

I’m lying in bed listening to he ginger go beserk next door as he cries Mommy. You see tonight is night one of us sleep training….don’t get me wrong, I feel awful and revolting especially as he is now not crying but actually verbalisong it in words. But were back where we were in Sept last year where he cut his first molars. Two months of hell and how I managed to keep my job during my zombie state is a miracle. We’re back to not being able to leave a room without him going beserk and him holding us ransom for hours at his bedside!

Saturday night is was from 12-1:30. Monday it was intermittently from 9- 3:30am yes you read correctly that’s 6 hours! And I won’t lie it’s taking its toll. It’s not about the sleep deprivation which I now understand why they use as a form of torture, but its about the knock on effect and how it affects everything else in our lives. It’s how short you become with your loved ones the morning after and that includes the ginger who gets the wrath of my tongue because my fuse is short. It’s the fact that I don’t get any excercise because when the alarm goes off at 5:45am and you’ve gotten to bed at 3:30am the last thing you wanna do is get up and run, so you feel yuk and that makes you look yuk and and and.

So yes I’ve just listened to the ginger cry it out with intermittent visits from his devil mommy ( we use the Richard Ferber method) and after the third visit he settled in 2 min without me holding vigil at his bedside. So did I do the right thing and am I awful for doing it and will I scar him because I walked out and left him to cry, who knows bit hey maybe tonight well get some sleep and then things will be better in the morning.

4:30am ramblings

So I’m in between a mixture of mother’s guilt and serious tiredness.
This is a topic right up there with do your spank your child or not……Leaving baby to cry.

Let’s rewind to pre-ginger days: I was the mother type that naively believed my child he would sleep through at 8 weeks.

Then my DNA produced a child who had reflux, recurring ear infections and eventually grommets! So actually Daniel only slept through really consistently for the first time in November 2012 @ the tender age of 14mths ( hey I was only a year out in my calculations!! )

We did however have to at that stage employ some sleep training, Due to the constant ear and chest infections our little ginger had no idea how to sleep through and if he woke up had no idea how to put himself back to sleep. But since then tho he’s pretty much slept through every night.

But then there is the pearler like last night!!

Ok so let me get to my point. Even though I did employ sleep training ( so am therefore an advocate of letting my child cry for short periods) I have always felt kak about it  when something like this morning happens and I wonder if I’m being too hard.

You see the ginger is teething so we’ve had broken nights anyway and on top of it daddy is not here so I’m his only lifeline and as a result he is really clingy as it is. So when he cries he calls out Mommy mommy I feel so much worse because of the single parenting situation at the moment.

This morning however at 4:30am (yes you read right) I was in no mood to entertain conversations or the sound of Barney coming from the TV.

So this resulted in Daniel REALLY crying until I entered his room, him screaming even more when I took him in my arms to try and settle him but did not leave the bedroom, followed by a complete meltdown when I put him back in his cot and walked out after 20min.

Then I lay in bed while he cried (he did eventually stop) and felt so kak about it. Firstly because I had raised my voice at him when we wouldn’t calm down, he then cried Daddy,daddy, to which I replied ‘No use crying for your daddy, go to sleep.’

I’m rambling cos Im just so tired. But I guess I just wonder if I’m being too hard assed in the face of everything that’s going on, but at the same time 4:30am is not an acceptable time to “rise and shine”

Plus fighting with your 20mth old in the wee hours of the morning  is bound to make you feel horrid.

I’ll say it again. Roll on  next two weeks so we can go back to being a family……this single parenting thing is tough man! Kudos to all you single parents out there!!!

Sleeping Training – Round one and I’m frazzled

I’m frazzled! I’ve just sat through 12 minutes of my son crying and I mean really crying. In fact…. *pause while I have a little cry myself*

Wow I didn’t think that would be that hard!

The last time we tried the sleeping training thing he was littler. He was not a little boy, with a ‘real’ boy cry he was still a baby, without a ‘ why- are- you- doing- this- to- me- mommy’ cry

But it’s all come to a head. Had a chat with Jacqui from Baby Love today and I’m seeing her on Monday to chat about Daniel’s diet, sleep and she’s convinced its behavioural. And we cant go on. Its been 11 months and I’m tired. I’m oh so tired……

It was so funny how defensive I was in on the phone. Defending my actions for not sleep training up until now. ‘ But my gut tells me he’s really got something wrong with his neck’ I said  ‘and he doesn’t soothe when I hold him, so surely if he was looking for comfort he’d soothe when I held him.’

But the truth is, I can’t confidently say that Daniel is really hurting. As per the cranio sacral therapist. Although we are still going on Friday for a session.

So of course I played all scenarios through all day and upon Daddy Abs’s entrance through the front door this evening I downloaded all my theories and we chatted about tonight being the night! (poor man didn’t even get to put his laptop bag down!)

We’ve chosen baby sense’s method 1 (page 89 of Sleep Sense) that’s the one where you stay with the baby. So tonight we place our hand on Daniel, and just say shhhhhhhh. Tomorrow we take the hand away and say shhhhhh. So he still sees and hears you, Then night 3 is just sitting next to him and night 4 is standing at the door. She reckons by night 5 he should self soothe!

I must say as usual our timing (as with most big decisions in our life) is impeccable! My poor in-laws are coming for the long weekend. I bet they’d just stay in EL if they knew the lack of sleep and screaming they were about to encounter!! It just makes the most sense cos of the long weekend. SO hopefully by Monday we should be on the up swing.

So wow, the first screaming match was hectic. Wish me luck cos I’m feeling a little week after Round one!