I need you to wait


20141123-130141-46901525.jpgOn Thursday in a way we gave up on you. Or maybe just realised that as much a we’d hoped and begged and prayed, this is not God’s plan and you won’t get better. You won’t walk and you won’t talk…. So it seems pointless to carry on with speech therapy. Mom has resolved to keep you comfortable and happy. But we’ve given up and that sucks…. It’s not how it was supposed to be.

I no longer understand anything you say anymore and I wish I could just have one more conversion with you. What I would give for a duologue!!

You are regressing and don’t walk as often, instead sleep for long periods.

And the fact that this will more than likely be our last Christmas together still hurts. As Eep from the Croods says:( sorry I have a 3 yr old I watch a lot of animateds) “I have too much to say to you. I need to fix everything and I don’t have time”

How do I cram everything in… All my plans I have, my dreams that I know I’ll want your opinion on. I don’t want to have to talk to you in heaven to ask for your help from there.

This is NOT how it was supposed to be and it’s not fair that the Ablet will never know you and that Daniel was hardly remember you…

You said you’d wait till baby arrived and so that is my new prayer… selfishly….wait for the Ablet to arrive. I NEED, you to hold that baby in your arms and I need to spend one last Christmas with us.