Dark spaces and happy days…a catch up

It’s 5:54am and I’m awake….have been since 4:30 when I fed Kat, who then decided it was far more fun to stay awake. She’s now asleep in the swing of course and I have to be up in 6min as I’m singing in church this morning for the Easter service so that my sleep done! 

Got love kids and we choose to do this?!? The above picture is why… Because we watch them when they sleep and marvel at how perfect they are even when they’ve woken us at 4:30am.

So let’s catch up quickly before I have to get ready. 


We’re in the house! At long last the dream of close on two years materialised and we got the keys to our beautiful home on the 21st march. We moved on the Saturday and won’t lie it’s been chaos and was by far the hardest moves I have ever done and trust me I’ve moved 13 times in 10 years so I know what I’m talking about. There is still so much dust and dirt and everything is just harder with two small kids. Also doesn’t help that daddy Abs is still working his butt off at work an therefore not able to assist and at night too tired to help so basically I’ve had to do it on my own. 

The ginger has finally adjusted and seems to be far more settled now finally as we’ve been pulled through the ringer with him! He was just playing up and it’s so nice to see him mostly back to the sweet little boy we once knew. Biggest problem for me was the regression in his potty training. He started to poo in his pants and everyone said don’t make a big scene about it but after three months I just felt that everyone else’s advice was not working for us as I really felt he knew what was going on. So we were on our third change of undies one day and I was doing something in the kitchen when I heard: ‘oh no, the poos coming out.’ All nonchalantly as if it was ok. Well I smacked him on the bum, marched him off to the loo and said to him this is how it’s gonna be going forward. You poo in your pants and you will get smacked, you will also be punished and have no treats. Do you understand? He didn’t even cry and said yes he understood and since then we’ve had no accidents. It just shows you all the books and google in the world can’t prepare you for parenthood and you HAVE to go with your gut because EVERY child is different. 

What would my life be if there wasn’t a little drama 4 days before I go back to work??? Well we had a little nanny saga. So two months ago I started having a wobbly about Kat being so young when I go back to work (3.5mths, her brother was 5 and there is a big difference!) so I started to consider that maybe I could use some full time help at home and also keep Kat at home for the first year. So in went thru and agency and found a nanny. She started at the beginning of March  and at first seemed really amazing. But then I started realising she really didn’t know what she was doing. I’m very emotional about going back to work and so I said to daddy Abs I wasn’t making an rash decisions and would see how it went during my first month back. That was expedited when I walked into the nursery three days ago and found her asleep in the rocking chair. The problem was not that she had dozed off but that my precious daughter was perched on a pillow on her lap and was not supported and could’ve rolled off. I know she would’ve said how sorry she was and that it would’ve happen again but I knew in my heart of hearts she wasn’t qualified for the job and that I wouldn’t be able to go to work on Tuesday confident that Kat was safe. So I went to Daniels old crèche and by the grace if God Kat’s place was still available and she starts on my first day. Need to now get my head around packing school bags etc for two, going to be interesting times .

 Daddy Abs and I had a long hard chat a few nights ago and really going to have to hit the routine hard during the week. It’s the only was we will survive. I for one am looking forward to it as I thrive on routine and is how I am most effective and achieved most things in my life…. Daddy Abs acknowledges it’s the only ways we’ll for everything in however it doesn’t come naturally to him so we’ll see 🙂

 So tomorrow is Easter Sunday a very momentum day for us Christians. Going to be an interesting one as the ginger is still to young to really grasp the full concept of the crucifixion but yet we still don’t want it to be all the about the bunny.

 This also marks for me a really sad time as I will be going back to work in two days. My maternity leave didn’t work out at all how I planned it would. Katherine has grown like a weed right before my eyes yet I’ve been doing everything but watching her grow up and I’d be lying if I wasn’t bitterly disappointed about that. But i won’t harp on that  here as I’ve written a really crappy, dark, bitter and twisted post on it, which I’m still contemplating posting 🙂

My dad is regressing yet still has good days… What an oxymoron. I still remain true to the wish that I do not want him to feel anymore pain and that he would just fall asleep and not wake up, but with the baptism of our baby girl in June, my mom’s 70th and my brother and his family coming out one selfishly hopes he’d stick it out till then. But there will alway be another birthday, milestone or something we want him to stay for, it’s the human condition. Just when I think I’m ready for him to go I find a reason for it not to be ok. A stroke has got to be the shittest and cruelest thing to happen to someone. 

On a brighter note:

I ran to the gym today and as those beautiful endorphins kicked in I dreamt of marathons I would enter and felt so much better. 

I have been thinking of doing another #100happydays mainly because I’ve spent the past few weeks in a really bad space and I think it’s time to focus on the good of which there is lots . Right now I’m I’m in the midst of sleep deprivation and going back to work and trying to find my feet in all of this that I’m not sure I want to add to that pile. If I change my mind tho this space will be the first to know.

So that’s me in a nutshell and best I get to bed before the Kat wakes for her first feed. 

Life oh life, oh life, oh life, do do do do……

So I’ve kind of set our moving into motion. Whilst we still have two months before our lease officially ends I’ve started looking for a place cos I figure the move is inevitable and we will move twice this year like it or not, so there is no point kicking and screaming. Again this little town has proven it’s not what you know but who…..and after phoning several agents (who are nothing but useless!! – and I can make a comment like this as it’s my second time looking for rentals in 7 months- I’m experienced!!) So as I was saying after phoning several USELESS agents I asked Daniel’s teacher if she knew of a place and in half and hour I had a contact who has a place. Saw it, loved it, and just waiting to see if the owner will accept a shorter lease till December when our house will hopefully be done!

House you ask? Yip well our plans are in council and we’re just waiting to ask for early commencement. Now for those that have built a house I can hear you all saying she’s smoking her socks thinking it’ll be done by the end of the year. But I’m remaining really hopeful that our rainy season will not halt too much building and that yes we will in fact be in our new home by Christmas. It seems rather surreal that we’re building our own home and I absolutely cannot wait to break ground…..watch this space.

On the ginger front: we had our School interview this week and Daniel has been accepted. It was so funny…it couldn’t have been more perfect. We arrived as it was break time and he saw both his cousins and ran up to them as the principal arrived! Rachel (the older) is a prefect and Jess no doubt will be too, they are such amazing Kids and I was so proud to say they were “my” girls. Daniel was also on top form and he was his ever engaging self. He is such an amazing kid and confident and full of life. He has the most amazing zest for life. The other day I bought him two pairs of shoes and I say to him: “My baby do you want to see what I bought you?“ he claps his hands with glee and shouts ‘yes mommy’ and so I show him and tell him that once we’ve been into the shops we‘ll go home and try them on and he replies: Ooooh mommy eeeegggciiiiting!!

Back to the school thing though….. finally get how Grade R (age 6/7) and first day of school is a big thing for moms, cos as I sent the forms and the deposit today to secure his place a little bit of me held back. My baby is getting to big SO fast and I actually dreaded how my little guy would walk into school in a uniform (albeit a t-shirt and shorts) and I worried how he would lose the lunchtime sleep and just be a BIG boy.

But I gave myself a good talking to and put my big girl panties on and moved on….that’s a moment to get choked up on in Jan 2015!!

Only three weeks to Easter can you frikking believe it, and a trip to EL in the pipeline (Rich’s hometown) which we’re really looking forward to having been back last in October 2012.

And maybe a house move in a the interim….who knows….just going with the flow here in Ballitoville 🙂

The Move

Before I knew it the move had arrived!

It  came with loads of stress and resulted in me shoving stuff in random boxes. But we’re here. We’re finally in Durban!

The team at Biddulphs removal company were awesome! I not only were they my cheapest quote by far but all in all the move was a smooth one, albeit interspersed with a little chaos and a few hiccups.

They team of 6 guys arrived at 10am and by 1pm our house was a shell!
I kept it together until the van was about to leave, but then as I was saying goodbye I signed “thank you” to one of the guys who was moving us that was deaf. His face lit up with the most amazing appreciation as if to say: “someone has spoken to me” For the first time in the 5 hours , someone had spoken to him in his language and you could see the appreciation.

WELL!!!! I was tickets and quickly sat outside and had a good little cry, as only a women can do. It was finally over and our house was empty and quite frankly it made me a little sad L

Next was fetching the Ginger. Rich and I had chatted about whether we should show him the house or whether we should just leave. I was of the mindset that for him, even if he didn’t understand it, it was important for him to get closure and move onto the next step, so that even in his own little way he could understand that we were leaving and when he saw his stuff in his new room in Durban he’d get it. Rich said he wouldn’t care. Boys are so simple 🙂 Anyway we decided to show him and Rich was right I don’t think he cared. Well at least that’s what I thought until that night!

Anyway so we handed over the keys and headed to our mates Dave and Jen for our last night. It was awful as Daniel held me hostage in his room sitting next to his cot for over an hour. He was so unsettled and really upset. We got to bed at 10:30pm and by 2am I was up a and wide awake!! I left Rich to sleep until 3am because he was driving and then we got up and left. Daniel woke up when I transferred him into the car and was awake for 20min and fell asleep and I thought we were home dry. Until Villiers (100km out of JHB ) where we stopped for coffee. When I returned to the car my little ginger had completely lost the plot. I think he was so exhausted and didn’t know what was going on. Fortunately he passed out 20 min later and then woke at 6am After Villiers we pushed through all the way to Ballito. Daniel only had two wobbles after that. One when he woke and of course one when we were 20 min from home.


Our first KZN sunset…well the start of it at least 🙂

So we survived the first stint and next was the unpacking. This was where we hit a stumbling block…..the truck eventually only arrived at our complex at 2pm that afternoon as they’d had trouble at the previous offload and were delayed. So they eventually finished unpacking at about 7pm! I had to get Daniel down so had to leave Rich with them at 5pm.


The chaos that was Saturday morning. 6am!

Saturday I woke at 6am and headed straight to the house to start unpacking….and I unpacked and unpacked and unpacked. I sat down for the first time at 5pm that evening but at least the beds were made, the curtains hung and we were in our home.

The past two days have just been finishing up and making the house livable and I can now finally say we’re in! My mom has been incredible. She has really done a lot and we are so appreciative.

Daniel has taken serious strain and hasn’t really eaten for 3 days and sleep has been nightmare with a pearler on sunday night of 2 and half hours of crying followed by vomit…lots of it! But last night he finally slept through again and I’m hoping he has had a good day at crèche today. Its a lot for a little guy to take in.

Looking back, the pain of the move is still a very real one, but its good to be able to say it’s finally behind us!

What’s the saying? Onwards and upwards!!!

Hope your weekend was less stressful and hectic than mine 🙂

Moving house…..Don’t do it!

So I’m pretty much done. 41 boxes and a whole lotta little bits shoved into random boxes!!

Spent the whole weekend packing…AGAIN and really neglected the Ginger which really sucked  The bonus was daddy Abs got to spend some time with him, but seriously, I cannot wait to just spend quality time with him again, playing ,drawing, whatever that may be!

They don’t stuff around when they say that moving ranks in the top ten of strefful things to do in your life…… Let me give you my take on moving.

You start packing…a little out of fear but mainly because you’re excited to get this party started. At this stage you are in COMPLETE DENIAL.
The first few boxes go well lulling you into a false sense of security.
It’s easy. You keep a beautiful list of what’s packed in each box and systematically go from room to room where each room is neatly packed in each box.
You think to yourself.
“20 boxes max at this rate!”
“What is everyone on about? packing up is not that hard”
A few boxes a day and I’ll be done in no time”

Then you hit the kitchen….and you hit the crossroads of hell, where you are not able to fill a box because they get to heavy before they get full. So you end up with the hodge podge boxes that I have right now. (which doesn’t go well with my A type personality) and quite frankly is F#$%^ING UP MY LISTS!

So you end up with this:
Box 36:
Description: Kitchen
Contents: Plates, Pyrex dishes, Leather jackets, Bedside table , drawer and spare room pillows!!!

Eventually though even this A type had to get over it and quite frankly get to the next stage


This is what starts to happen after days and days of packing. You reach the stage where it is all going to the same location and all gonna be unpacked , so really it doesn’t matter what goes in what box. And seriously you just wanna get done so that your hands are not stained with the black ink from newspaper.


The random pile of stuff that doesnt really fit into any box arrrrrrgh!


Dont judge me! I’m over it! I will find a place for this stuff when we get to the other side.

 So tonight I will pack the last few things…..only 3 more sleeps and then our new adventure begins!!!

Watch this space!!!

Awesome weekend

We had a lovely weekend!

Friday was an absolutely awful day and I left the office in tears, a mixture of unforseen costs to add onto an already stressed i-have-no-job budget and frustrations with being treated like an imbecile even though I regard myself above average intelligence! (hey you gotta back your own horse 🙂

But enough of that kak cos I wanna tell you how my weekend panned out and it was pretty darn cool!

SO I had dinner booked with my person, Sal, at our little local , Simply Asia in Bryanston. The food is alway a winner. Its fresh and doesn’t leave you feeling like you could roll out of there! We arrived at 7:30pm and I heard Sal saying to the restaurant manager 8 and I thought. N0 half past seven , not 8, and then I turned around and there they were, 8 of my closest girlfriends! And true to form I CRIED!

It was such a lovely evening and good on my Sal for organising. Man she’s a good friend!

Then Saturday I had Sal and I booked in at the Camelot student spa for Pedis and me a back massage and Sal a mani. Unfortunately my therapist had car trouble so I only got the massage and Sal the mani, so we canned the Pedis and left there feeling a little cheated. We decided to make up for it and headed to Mugg and bean for breakfast.

So I arrived home at 11am feeling utterly guilty at leaving Daddy abs to look after the ginger but also a little rejuvenated from the stress of the past 6 months!

Then reality hit and we started packing (while the ginger slept). We knocked a good 10 boxes, brining the total to 23. I’ve long let go of my bet and Daddy abs is probably gonna be spot on, on 40 boxes!


Rich's box he packed

Rich’s box he packed

The boxes I packed in the same time....just saying ;)

The boxes I packed in the same time….just saying 😉


Sunday I was super excited for out Photoshoot we’d planned with most of our mates.Unfortunately our photographer cancelled on us last minute. But where there’s a will there’s a way’, so armed with a tripod and camera and some very willing mates we headed off to the park just down the road for some pics. We got some lovelies.



We had some hysterical moments getting the kids pic as we had a runner (aka ‘Luko'”affectionately name by my son). We managed to get him to stay still by seating him.



Sadly as with all good things, they must come to an end and we dropped off Daddy Abs at the airport. Dan was with me and he cried pretty much the whole way home 😦 He had such an amazing time with his daddy this weekend. He does however seem to understand when I say daddy’s coming tomorrow so roll on Wednesday so that can be true!!

How was your weekend? Hope it was a goodie.

Single figures to go till the move Yipeeeee!!!

Two weeks to go

Can you believe that in two weeks time the removal van will have arrived and we will be Durban bound.
I’m a mix of excitement and sadness at the moment…..

It’s the funny things I’m going to miss:
• I’m going to miss being able to fetch Daniel and for the two of us to walk home. Takes us half an hour to cover 500m but it such fun and we explore all sorts of things on the way
• I’m going to miss my helper. Samu has been with us for 8 years and when she’s been on a Tuesday we call our house “Hotel Samu” she is the most amazing cleaner and I’ve really developed a friendship with her.
• I’m going to miss our home – I’m starting to get really sad. It was the first house we bought together and we had our first child in this home and so when we close the door on Thursday there will no doubt be a few tears.

But there is SOOOOOOOOOO much I’m looking forward to.

• I’m looking forward to being close to my nieces. These two are like my second kids. I have missed so many birthdays and special occasions and I get to be there for them
• I’m looking forward to being close to my folks – Nothing beats family and I’m looking forward for us to be able to get together for dinners.
• I’m looking forward to being a stones throw from the beach – summer evenings after work we can go down and play in the waves for a little bit before bedtime – man that’s awesome
• I cant wait to break ground build our new home – Its going to be an exciting journey (wha ha ha watch this space, no doubt I’ll be ranting how kak it is building your own house is a year’s times )

So good news FINALLY on the news front…..

We have a rental!!! My mom found it advertised in the local newspaper (wow they do stuff so differently down there 🙂 Its small and old but its ours and we can move in on the 31st May!!!

IMG_2171 IMG_2172 IMG_2173 IMG_2176 IMG_2182
It has a little garden for the Ginger to run around in and a gym, pools and tennis court in the complex. So chuffed and its such a weight off my shoulders!

Now just have to find a job. I’m kinda calm about that too and really believe something will happen. (fingers crossed behind my back just in case )

So the packing has begun in earnest and tonight I will pack some more. Really hoping to be able to knock the bulk of it this weekend. We have 14 boxes already. There’s a debate on how many we’ll end up with. Rich says close on 40. I reckon 25……the jury is out, will let you know.

One more sleep and Daddy Abs is home for the weekend. I’m so looking forward to the weekend. I have dinner tomorrow night with my person (a real adult, no kid dinner with wine and everything ) and then on Saturday I’m having a back massage and pedi as well while Daddy Abs spends some quality time with the Ginger.  Yay me 🙂

I hope you’re all having an awesome week!