The ginger update

school pic

Today was the Ginger’s Orientation day at school. Still can’t get my head about the fact that he’s going to Grade 000 next year. He is an incredibly sweet boy but man alive has this kid got a strong will and personality. And I’m sure you’re all saying yes yes so does every 3 year old. But I’m willing to put the ginger up against your 3 year old ANY day and he’d win hands down. It’s something about the red hair that makes him fiery and that combined with his momma’s personality , you have one helluva combo.

He is still totally in love with his Lil’s and they really are good friends. Today they took hands and walked into school together….was a complete melt your heart moment.

He is a bit of a penguin and only has eyes for his lilly. I do worry about it a little because I wonder what will happen if Lilly is sick for a week from school or they have a fall out later on in life…..but how do you teach a 3 years old to no put all his eggs in one basket?????

Dress up day last week at school…look at how he looks at her

About three weeks ago Daddy Abs insisted on the chewed dummy being thrown away (and this one was really chewed) The aim was not to get rid of the dummy (that would be stupid with all the change about to happen) it was to get rid of the horrid one and he had a choice of two brand new dummies. I’m no phased about the dummy because Daniel only has it at night for his sleep and 9/10 when I go in to say goodnight to him the dummy is not in his mouth…. Anyway he proudly threw it in the dustbin that morning and when he got home he was fine. He refused point blank to take the new one and so I thought: “OK” he’s clearly fine about it…..WRONG!!! Holy mother of mother’s…we proceeded to have 2 of the kakkest nights and my heart completely broke for this little guy. Cut a long story short , he eventually took one of the dummies and told Lilly at school that the fairy had brought it back and that he was happy because he was really sad without it…..

Just shows you they’ll do it when they’re ready.

He’s been going through some growth spurts and last night ate: A Chicken Thigh, Butternut, Half a small potato, half and apple, some watermelon and then asked for scrambled egg!!!
And then before bed ate another apple and some peanuts and raisins!!!!

Summer is finally here and we had our first swim in the pool on Saturday. Not having swum for about 6 months he was a little cautious in the water. Yesterday we had another quick swim and all that cautiousness is gone. He swam about 2m turned around and swam back to the first step. So chuffed he loves the water and also really chuffed that he is getting more and more water safe and loves the pool …is going to help tremendously when baby is here.

Oh man this kids loves all things small. I dunno what it is but if it’s small or prestik he has to hold it in his hand. And he goes to bed with the stuff and will wake up and sure as nuts he will be holding it his hand.

Gotta love this man and his little quirks…..

He’s very attentive and interested in the baby “sista” that’s coming. Heaven help us if it’s a boy!! This morning he felt it kick properly for the first time and his eyes grew wide and he was like “Mommy did you feel that! The baby just kicked you!!!”
Its funny though because on the outside he seems to be fine about all of this but for the past two days he has peed in his pants. Now I got told they regress when baby arrives but we’re 6 weeks away from that. We have moved all the baby stuff into the room and maybe that’s what’s bugging him….well let’s hope he gets it out of his system.

On a complete aside I read this , this morning and it has really stuck with me. http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5701432  I’m guilty as charged! And also feeling as yuck as I have lately I also find I’ve been a little grumpy with the Ginger and you know what, I’m actually not bloody entitled to be. He was our choice to have and he’s little for such a short time. So I’m taking this as another gentle reminder to focus on him and actually be chuffed when he just wanna sit with me and cuddle.

Parenting battle

So we were invited to a braai on Friday with some mates that we hadn’t seen for a while. It was stunning evening and we got to really catch up. We didn’t leave late in adult terms (9pm) the only thing was it was late for the Ginger.

He’s two and half and only recently (like last month) started sleeping through and not in his short little life span has he ever gone to bed that late!  He was absolutely fine though. There were a few tears in the car on the way home, due to some extenuating circumstance but other than that he was a gem!

Problem was the night that followed. He woke in excess of 5 times and still rose at his usual 5:30am. I had such a lovely morning planned with him and the two of us were going to watch Rio2 together while dad had some downtime. Well the movie was a complete stuff up! We ended up leaving before the end and after 3 boxes of popcorn purchased one of which was turfed the morning was ruined!

I was so disappointed because the ginger loves movies and Rio1 was his favourite….but he was just a nightmare and unplayable…. so him going to bed 1.5hrs after his normal bedtime just had such far reaching consequences.

But then I question myself. Are we too rigid in our routine? There was no way he was going to go down there because the host’s two kids were running around so FOMO would never have allowed him to close his eyes.

I suppose why I’m questioning myself is because I’m seeing more and more recently we are turning down things because of a routine or allowing things to happen where ultimately we pay the price later. And its not FOMO (Fear of missing out )  its just ironic that I question that we’re the problem here. The problem is the whole family suffers the consequences when the ginger doesn’t sleep or eats copious amounts of sugar!!

I’m very proud to say that my ginger is an absolute pleasure to be around, is well mannered and a really sweet child. But I’m also a firm believer that he thrives on having boundaries and a good routine.

The whole chocolate and sweet fruit juices falls into this category. Daniel was absolutely rotten over Easter and with all the public holidays and no routine……I saw how the sugar rush affected him and also how revolting he was and the tantrums he started throwing. Again though its hard because if we go out with friends to a restaurant and their kid is drinking juice, how do you whip out a water bottle and say to your kid “no” because your belief  is that it is supposed to be for special occasions?

Just trying find my happy medium between what I believe is right and good for my kid vs going with the flow. I’m sure this is the tip of the iceberg and I’ve got many more journeys along this road to take…..

Even in the ‘real’ times I’m blessed

Today has been a very heartbreaking but beautiful day… This will mostly be jumbled as most of my posts are following a few weeks break, as I have been secretly writing but just in my head and not on the blog due to lack of time or motivation so I have lots to say….

So here goes…

Melinda posted a few weeks ago about how people don’t seem to be real anymore and shouted out to the www is she the only mom/person that finds this whole motherhood thing bloody hard?!? Then there was Sharon
who challenged us to be real and post pics of real life. I’m sorry I missed out on taking part but diarising it for next year 1st Nov. #nofilterday

So it has had me thinking about being real, because I too post a lot more “motherhood is awesome” posts than ” motherhood is the frikking hardest thing you’ll ever do” posts. For example I have kept a journal since the day I found out I was pregnant with Daniel and I still write in it hoping he will one day want to read it and nowhere in there do i REALLY tell him how hard it really is…

So here’s getting real. Daniel is frikking awful at the moment…. And I mean , throw him against the wall and tape his mouth with duck tape awful. Terrible twos have hit our house in the hugest way resulting in a LOT of foot stomping and LOOOOOOTS of tears. It’s a battle with everything and I mean EVERYTHING.

20131113-223430.jpgA few weeks ago he went to school in his Pj top, board shorts and a pair of sheepskin slipper that were 3 sizes too small for him because the tears were actually not worth it and neither the battle ….. So yes come Monday at the moment I am actually thrilled to send him to school. There you have it REAL In a nutshell.

And then comes last night where through some facebooking I come across Mandy’s post that she is going to start a blog and I think “yay for you” I’m gonna read and give her some comments of encouragement. Well!! I didn’t comment so much. You see Mandy and Chris lost their beautiful little 4 yrs old girl in a freak accident a year ago…..so all I did whilst sobbing my little heart out was think to myself You lucky bitch, stop complaining you have this amazing little guy that you get to cuddle everyday, suck it up!!

Then today I had the heartbreaking privilege of going on a site visit to a crèche in shakashead. Shayamoya the crèche has 92 kids and what I saw today nearly me broke me in two…. The ilembe chamber of commerce and Tree ( NGO) have partnered together and together with the ladies business forum ( of which I’m member) we are going to target 20 crèches and change 497 little peoples lives over the next 3 yrs….so again I was reminded that even in my gingers terrible two-ness im still so privileged to have a healthy amazing little guy in my life and also be able to give him what he needs…..

So yah, motherhood is frikking hard and Daniel is not easy at the moment but shoeh I’m blessed even in the hard times and grateful for what I have. I have a little boy who I adore and so many privileges…. so whilst I’m real I will continue to write about this journey called motherhood, because even in the hard times it’s amazing!!

4:30am ramblings

So I’m in between a mixture of mother’s guilt and serious tiredness.
This is a topic right up there with do your spank your child or not……Leaving baby to cry.

Let’s rewind to pre-ginger days: I was the mother type that naively believed my child he would sleep through at 8 weeks.

Then my DNA produced a child who had reflux, recurring ear infections and eventually grommets! So actually Daniel only slept through really consistently for the first time in November 2012 @ the tender age of 14mths ( hey I was only a year out in my calculations!! )

We did however have to at that stage employ some sleep training, Due to the constant ear and chest infections our little ginger had no idea how to sleep through and if he woke up had no idea how to put himself back to sleep. But since then tho he’s pretty much slept through every night.

But then there is the pearler like last night!!

Ok so let me get to my point. Even though I did employ sleep training ( so am therefore an advocate of letting my child cry for short periods) I have always felt kak about it  when something like this morning happens and I wonder if I’m being too hard.

You see the ginger is teething so we’ve had broken nights anyway and on top of it daddy is not here so I’m his only lifeline and as a result he is really clingy as it is. So when he cries he calls out Mommy mommy I feel so much worse because of the single parenting situation at the moment.

This morning however at 4:30am (yes you read right) I was in no mood to entertain conversations or the sound of Barney coming from the TV.

So this resulted in Daniel REALLY crying until I entered his room, him screaming even more when I took him in my arms to try and settle him but did not leave the bedroom, followed by a complete meltdown when I put him back in his cot and walked out after 20min.

Then I lay in bed while he cried (he did eventually stop) and felt so kak about it. Firstly because I had raised my voice at him when we wouldn’t calm down, he then cried Daddy,daddy, to which I replied ‘No use crying for your daddy, go to sleep.’

I’m rambling cos Im just so tired. But I guess I just wonder if I’m being too hard assed in the face of everything that’s going on, but at the same time 4:30am is not an acceptable time to “rise and shine”

Plus fighting with your 20mth old in the wee hours of the morning  is bound to make you feel horrid.

I’ll say it again. Roll on  next two weeks so we can go back to being a family……this single parenting thing is tough man! Kudos to all you single parents out there!!!