It finally feels like home

I’ve said this several times over the past few months that this has truly been one of the hardest times of our lives. Whilst it has also been the most exciting time with us building our first home together is has at the same time been a real adjustment financially with me halving my salary, Rich travelling a lot and also me moving into a work environment that has been quite different!

But over the past two weeks we have settled into a little bit of normality and it has really started to feel good. Don’t get me wrong I have NEVER doubted our move but I have wondered where we’d have been had we not have moved.

Two weeks ago we had a really busy weekend. We had Daniel’s teddy bears picnic with school after church and then we took our very tired bundle home for a sleep. Then we went off to a braai with friends from church….. and you know what? IT ROCKED! The whole frikking weekend just rocked.

I say it again it has been such a wonder and joy to be part of CCNC our church. Not in the 9 years I was in JHB did I have that sense of community and friendship that we have had in the short time we’ve been a part of CCNC. Whilst my dad was sick in Feb the prayers were unbelievable and the offers of food etc. THAT is what a church is about! It about having a family away from family. And of course there’s the amazing benefit that Rich after us being together for 9 years is finally worshiping with me and it’s because he feels comfortable and he too feels the sense of community and that’s awesome!

Last weekend was super awesome too. We went out for supper with Daniel’s “girlfriend” Lilly’s parents and on Saturday I played Action netball with the mom’s from our school.

Netball 2 (800x600)Netball 1 (600x800) We got our asses kicked but it was helluva fun (I couldn’t walk for three days kinda fun ;)) Then we rushed off for an impromptu date night Daddy Abs and me and went to watch my home rubgy team The Sharks play the Lions.

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This weekend we having people over for a braai. I’m unfortunately having to work the morning tomorrow but then I’m done for the week.

So yah it finally feels like we have a little bit of life and it feels really good.

In other news our plans are ready to be submitted to council. So fingers crossed and lots of prayers that they sail through and that we can start building by May.  All Very exciting!!!

Smorgasbord of thoughts

This is going to be a real smorgasbord of thoughts and info but I’ve had a lot on my mind……

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We buried Madiba on Sunday. A big part of our history. Daddy Abs has saved the newspapers to put in Daniel’s memory box even though he’ll never really grasp the impact he made in this country….and I actually want to put a copy in ours too. As his casket was lowered I sobbed as though it was my father that has passed. And I questioned myself why? Not that I wasn’t allowed the privilege of mourning as so many South African’s have, but for goodness sake we didn’t grow up in Apartheid. My best friend at school in Std2 (Age 7) was a black girl. I can’t even begin to pretend Apartheid affected me. But I cried nevertheless…..What struck me most (and at the funeral I attended on Thursday) was the association factor. I cried very big sad tears for Graca Michel. What a strong courageous women that endured 10 days of mourning and watched as a country mourned our Tata, but at the end of the day ,she’s just a Wife who has lost her hubby……a wife who said “Till death do us part” and now she’s alone, her home will be missing a big part and consequently her heart…… I connected with that and I really hurt for her….I do think also that I mourned those that have passed. I miss my dear Rozzie, I mourn for my brother, my Darling Soppies, who I miss do very much…..and I miss them, each in very different ways but miss them all the same. Think it’s the time of year too.

I think with this time of year, coupled with being so blimming exhausted and burning the candle at both end, I’m a little emotional….actually NO I’m very emotional!!! I’m also not very pretty when I don’t have sleep (ask my hubby he’ll tell you how horrid I am) In amongst this emotional turmoil is the fact that my little boy is growing up so fast! He just keeps growing and when I opened the box of Christmas tree decorations that he personally made at school I was finished!! Where has my little guy gone??Maybe it’s because we’re thinking of no 2 quite seriously and I’m so aware of the time I have left with him before my love will be divided amongst two.

Thinking about no 2 has also put a little pressure on me with some success I might add. I’m talking with regards to my weight. Those that know me personally know I’m not a fat girl but for 2 years since the ginger graced us I have BATTLED to lose the last 4/5kgs. Now with the thoughts of no 2 looming I’m panicked that I won’t be at my goal before I fall pregnant. And it’s really simple. I really don’t want to carry another baby and hit 70kgs again. I have a small frame and no space between my boobs and my pubic bone so there is nowhere for a baby to go by OUT and out I did and as a result carried 12kgs forwards and as a consequence took major strain on my back and I really don’t want to relive that. So I have been super good but Christmas is coming so I need a few kgs in the bag. I’m proud to say I have lost 3 kgs in the last few weeks and am now officially thinner that I was before I fell pregnant with the Ginger…..let’s hope I can keep it off!!

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This weekend we put Daniel in his new bed. There was much excitement and relatively speaking it has been a really positive experience EXCEPT for the 4am waking’s! We’re not sure what it is but Daniel has been waking at 4am and doesn’t go back to sleep. This coupled with late nights has not been a pretty combination for me (refer to point above ) That pretty much snowballed in Spar on Saturday when I join the not so amazing terrible 2’s Child-losing-his–shit-in-a –public-space group. Daniel is a frikking nightmare. In fact they don’t make a word to describe the living hell we are going through with him!!! So much so that I was THRILLED to be at work yesterday and only too happy to drop him off at school….and I hate that. I hate that I hate my son as I’ve always loved my time with him. But wowee Payback is such a b!tch as I now have a mini (more intense, if that’s even possible) version of myself roaming this world!!! It’s not pretty. But as the saying goes….this too shall pass…..i hope its soon.

I had a funny sad moment over the weekend too as I watched the Vaalies (out of towners) descend on our little town. Whilst part of me is irritated at the invasion as well as the 200% increase in prices, part of me was quite sad (for a VERY brief moment) that we live here now……We don’t get to have the excitement of packing bags and going on holiday and coming down to the sea for 3 weeks…..silly I know…Like I said it was a fleeting moment. 🙂

Carols

This is the last week of mayhem for me. And hopefully my son will not keep on saying “mommy go church” when I pick up my keys after Friday. I have practically lived at the church the past two weeks in preparation for the Carol Service on Friday. I’m a little nervous as I will be doing all the intro’s for 350 people as well as singing a solo for “O holy night”! I do think it’s going to be an incredible evening and praying that is doesn’t rain.

Then hopefully things will settle down as I have one more week of work before some down time with the family.
Hope your silly season is not too silly and that you are all able to take some time off…..

What would you do with your beans?

I saw this on Jenty’s facebook feed today and I really wanted to share it with you. It really hit home (i.e I shed a few tears 🙂 ) I know I’m soft, we know this already!!

But it really just prompted my thoughts and feelings and the goings on for the past week.

I have a few things I’ve been wanting to say, so this may be a little bit of a garbled post, but stick with me, I’m hoping it‘ll all tie up when I’m done.

So what do you do with your remaining beans?

I know for sure that I spend WAY WAY WAY too much time worrying to the point that I worry that one day I’ll make myself sick with the worrying I do. So I resolve daily (because I fail daily) to spend more time enjoying life and less worrying.

Part of that enjoyment has been the time I’ve been spending with Daniel lately. Being a working mom I have very little time with my ginger during the week. But lately I have been spending a lot of time with him on the couch snuggling. Random I know but amazing!! For some reason he has been asking me to “la la” with him on the couch and I HAVE and you know what EVERY time I have , it has totally trumped the task I have had to leave , the dishes that have needed to wash or the supper I’ve needed to make (fancy that!!)

On Saturday we lay on the couch for an hour. I snuggled into him more that he into me and closed my eyes while we he watched cartoons.
He held my hand and few times even patted me, like I pat his back sometimes….. I reckon that was a bloody marvelous way to spend those “beans” 🙂

This morning we brushed teeth and sang the Barney brushing teeth song (You know, come sing with me: Oh, I’m brushing my teeth on the bottom ‘Cause I wouldn’t wanna say that I forgot em’ …..) and I relished in the fact that I got to dance and sing while I brushed my teeth. I think it was a great way to spend my brushing- teeth- beans (when was the last time you danced whilst brushing your teeth?)

So yip I’m resolving to spend my beans way better than I have been. You’re probably  wondering why I’m all floaty and smiley and shiny happy people on you guys …..maybe because the Ginger is also sleeping through…yes people you heard me correctly……. For about a week now……and I’m not sure if I should be posting this, I’m hesitant because I’m SOOOOOO scared I’m going to jinx it!

But yes, SHOUT IF FROM THE ROOFTOPS, WE HAVE SLEEP IN THE ABDO HOUSEHOLD!!

And you know what? I’ve forgotten what a flipping nice person I am when I’ve had sleep. I’m mean I’m really really nice 

While I’m on the things that hit you hard bandwagon….I thought I’d just end off with a few randoms I’ve picked up of FB, Twitter etc the past few weeks. Haven’t done one of these for a while.
** none of the pics are mine **

So here goes… my motto going forward

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I think my ginger and Daddy Abs are a good place to start…

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A lesson for me in the worrying department. Its not what others think of you but what you think of yourself.

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AND SOME HUMOUR TO END OFF WITH!

Hysterical for me…..Because I came “blame it on the bunny” but i just don’t run enough anymore …..

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Have a great Thursday everyone!

Excuse me while I find my mo-jo

 I’ve been pretty darn quiet I know…..and it’s not because I haven’t had anything to say it’s just that finding your mojo is hard work man!!!

It’s taken us a good three weeks to find our feet and along with the usual figuring out how long it takes to get to work and therefore timing Daniel’s drop off we’ve thrown the Passing of our dear Mally in the mix, which involved a trip to Hermanus last week for me and then also an incredibly hectic travel week for Rich. On top of that there  is the washing and cleaning, which up until we left Johannesburg I had the luxury of my darling helper Samu doing.

Then to top it all off there is the never-ending stress of the JOB! Yes people I am still jobless after searching for almost 6 months! Can you actually believe that Durban is that dead! I mean seriously I know there a bloody recession but I cannot believe that there are no middle management jobs in Marketing!! I was thrown a lifeline however yesterday and asked to stay on for July to finish off my projects here, so at least I have a few month weeks grace, but I won’t lie this is starting to wear thin.

But I’m continually challenged to “Let Go and Let God” and some days I’m very good at it and others not so much.

On a positive note….the Ginger after no sleep for three weeks has really seemed to have settled. He is now only waking once a night and even surprised us two days ago and again this morning by having his bottle in bed with us and then rolling over and having another kip for an hour. His mother not so much as I’m the type of girl who’s brain kicks in the moments my eyes are open. But it is still nice to lie in and beats the hell out of getting up at 4:45am!!!

Daniel is also obsessed with his Granny and Grandpa and run arms open wide when he sees them. They are affectionately called Gully and Baa baa. Its so lovely that they are able to spend a lot of time with him and that he really gets to know them. I treasure this time he has with them.

We spend a lot of time on the beach, because its there , its beautiful and it’s a free playground for the ginger. He loves the beach. Problem is he also loves being naked on the beach. Working on getting him to keep his clothes on 🙂 But for now I reckon it’s ok as he has his whole life to have to conform to society’s wrong and rights!

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Making friends has been tough one but we’ll get there. Last week I attended a birthday party of a kids in his class. The family have also recently moved down to Durbs from JHB and it was refreshing to see that hopefully we’ll be as lucky to have as many people in our home one day soon. I have also hooked up with an old school friend Belinda. Her son Connor is a month younger than Daniel. We do play dates regularly…..which is not entirely true as the boys don’t play together (they don’t do that at 20months) its more of a play date for us 🙂

I’m also going to visit Umhlali Methodist Church this Sunday. I’m hoping to find a church that both Rich and I can feel comfortable at. Rich is a catholic and I’m Methodist so we’re hoping to find an in betweener with a young congregation.

I’ve also realized that I have a REAL fear of monkeys. Ballito has quite the vervet monkey population. Its funny because they never bothered me before, but now that I have Daniel I am acutely aware of them and quite scared that they will attack him. I must research and see if my fear is valid or not, or if I’m totally overreacting….

Oh and last but not least… I’m thrilled it’s the winter solstice. Man I cannot get used how early it gets darks here. Its dark by like 5pm which is proving real hard to keep Daniel entertained before his 7pm bedtime….without TV!!! So roll on summer (although no doubt I’m going to be complaining about the humidity in due course – doubt I’m going to wax my first summer without some serious sweat! )

All in all we have settled in well and barring the stress of lack of job it has been such a great move for us.
Wishing you all an amazing weekend. Ours will no doubt involve a trip to the beach (ah gotta love the coast during winter)

My heart is sore…even tho I knew it would be

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I’m sad today…..and  I knew when this day came that I would be sad, even though I knew it was coming.

My sister-in-law’s Dad , Malcolm Stewart passed away this morning from a very aggressive brain cancer.

It has been 6 months from diagnosis…..and it just strikes me whilst I guess they were lucky that they had 6 months to “say goodbye” how do you ever SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR DAD!!!

There are some things I will always remember about him

  • Malcolm (we called him Mally) was a giant of a man. Standing 6.5ft tall he always towered over me.
  • He had giant hands as well and there is absolutely nothing in the world better than a Mally hug.
  • He was always smiling and upbeat
  • He always called me “Lorrie” and would always greet me with half a laugh as he said my name
  • We was always interested in what I was doing and always took the time to listen to me
  • He loved red wine and introduced me to Pinotage!
  • He absolutely adored his family: His wife Sally, Girls: Kelly, Philly and Meg!!!

Those are just a few memories and my heart hurts as I remember them fondly. I can only imagine what Kels and her two sisters Megs and Philly must be feeling, let alone Sal.

It’s so sad that it takes death for one to hug those close to us a little harder when it should be daily!

As always the saying: God picks the prettiest flowers first rings true. Today we lost great man one that I’m so privileged and honoured to have met.

RIP Mally. You will be missed

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Always look on the bright side of life…..

WARNING: This post is filled with dark sarcasm and woe is me language.

I’m feeling flat today….

I’m at the so close but yet so far stage with this move. Its only 19 days left and then we’re outta here and moving to Durban, our dream, what we chose to do. I should be happy right?!?! But I’m seriously taking strain and just wanna have a good cry about it all!

I’ve waxed lyrical about how this is God’s hands and how everything has fallen into place.

But today this just sucks and feeling really grotty and if another person tells me to “lift my chin up”,” look on the bright side” “it’s not long now” and “don’t worry you’ll find a job” I’m literally GOING TO PUNCH THEM!!!!

We don’t have a rental. On the 31st Of May we have NO place to put our stuff. There just seems to be a shortage all of a sudden in Ballito and my poor mother has been on the phone to thousands of rental agent (who are all bloody useless btw) with nothing, NADA! – Look on the bright side we can move in with my parents and put our stuff in storage!!

I don’t have a job yet – I potentially have an offer and even though I don’t feel the role is right for me. What would you do? Wouldn’t you take it, in a market that is slow , it is a recession after all. – Hey, Look on the bright side at least it’s a job! (Yay me now I can move into yet another job I absolutely hate, how much fun would that be). Or do sit tight and place all my faith in God as I have said I’m doing and trust that he will provide, all in the face of the fact that come July we HAVE NO MONEY and will not be able to pay bills. – Look on the bright side, we can sell our land and live in a rental and use all our savings.

A friend of ours has her little girl in hospital on oxygen and is sedated. They have been fighting a viral infection for a week and its been touch and go. My ginger is healthy (apart from a nasty chest cold) but he’s fine , I’m grateful for that.

My sister in law is about to lose her dad to the big horrible nasty C – I have my dad and he’s healthy and soon I’m going to be living (hopefully) in the same estate as him. – I’m a lucky girl.

I get to see my husband this weekend – yay no more single parenting – well at least until Monday.

So yah, I’m feeling down and I know I should be grateful because I have SOOOOOOOOOO much to be thankful for. But I’m just gonna take a few moments to have a woe is me moment and maybe a little cry (later) and then I’ll get back on with it.