Smorgasbord of thoughts

This is going to be a real smorgasbord of thoughts and info but I’ve had a lot on my mind……

Mandela

We buried Madiba on Sunday. A big part of our history. Daddy Abs has saved the newspapers to put in Daniel’s memory box even though he’ll never really grasp the impact he made in this country….and I actually want to put a copy in ours too. As his casket was lowered I sobbed as though it was my father that has passed. And I questioned myself why? Not that I wasn’t allowed the privilege of mourning as so many South African’s have, but for goodness sake we didn’t grow up in Apartheid. My best friend at school in Std2 (Age 7) was a black girl. I can’t even begin to pretend Apartheid affected me. But I cried nevertheless…..What struck me most (and at the funeral I attended on Thursday) was the association factor. I cried very big sad tears for Graca Michel. What a strong courageous women that endured 10 days of mourning and watched as a country mourned our Tata, but at the end of the day ,she’s just a Wife who has lost her hubby……a wife who said “Till death do us part” and now she’s alone, her home will be missing a big part and consequently her heart…… I connected with that and I really hurt for her….I do think also that I mourned those that have passed. I miss my dear Rozzie, I mourn for my brother, my Darling Soppies, who I miss do very much…..and I miss them, each in very different ways but miss them all the same. Think it’s the time of year too.

I think with this time of year, coupled with being so blimming exhausted and burning the candle at both end, I’m a little emotional….actually NO I’m very emotional!!! I’m also not very pretty when I don’t have sleep (ask my hubby he’ll tell you how horrid I am) In amongst this emotional turmoil is the fact that my little boy is growing up so fast! He just keeps growing and when I opened the box of Christmas tree decorations that he personally made at school I was finished!! Where has my little guy gone??Maybe it’s because we’re thinking of no 2 quite seriously and I’m so aware of the time I have left with him before my love will be divided amongst two.

Thinking about no 2 has also put a little pressure on me with some success I might add. I’m talking with regards to my weight. Those that know me personally know I’m not a fat girl but for 2 years since the ginger graced us I have BATTLED to lose the last 4/5kgs. Now with the thoughts of no 2 looming I’m panicked that I won’t be at my goal before I fall pregnant. And it’s really simple. I really don’t want to carry another baby and hit 70kgs again. I have a small frame and no space between my boobs and my pubic bone so there is nowhere for a baby to go by OUT and out I did and as a result carried 12kgs forwards and as a consequence took major strain on my back and I really don’t want to relive that. So I have been super good but Christmas is coming so I need a few kgs in the bag. I’m proud to say I have lost 3 kgs in the last few weeks and am now officially thinner that I was before I fell pregnant with the Ginger…..let’s hope I can keep it off!!

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This weekend we put Daniel in his new bed. There was much excitement and relatively speaking it has been a really positive experience EXCEPT for the 4am waking’s! We’re not sure what it is but Daniel has been waking at 4am and doesn’t go back to sleep. This coupled with late nights has not been a pretty combination for me (refer to point above ) That pretty much snowballed in Spar on Saturday when I join the not so amazing terrible 2’s Child-losing-his–shit-in-a –public-space group. Daniel is a frikking nightmare. In fact they don’t make a word to describe the living hell we are going through with him!!! So much so that I was THRILLED to be at work yesterday and only too happy to drop him off at school….and I hate that. I hate that I hate my son as I’ve always loved my time with him. But wowee Payback is such a b!tch as I now have a mini (more intense, if that’s even possible) version of myself roaming this world!!! It’s not pretty. But as the saying goes….this too shall pass…..i hope its soon.

I had a funny sad moment over the weekend too as I watched the Vaalies (out of towners) descend on our little town. Whilst part of me is irritated at the invasion as well as the 200% increase in prices, part of me was quite sad (for a VERY brief moment) that we live here now……We don’t get to have the excitement of packing bags and going on holiday and coming down to the sea for 3 weeks…..silly I know…Like I said it was a fleeting moment. 🙂

Carols

This is the last week of mayhem for me. And hopefully my son will not keep on saying “mommy go church” when I pick up my keys after Friday. I have practically lived at the church the past two weeks in preparation for the Carol Service on Friday. I’m a little nervous as I will be doing all the intro’s for 350 people as well as singing a solo for “O holy night”! I do think it’s going to be an incredible evening and praying that is doesn’t rain.

Then hopefully things will settle down as I have one more week of work before some down time with the family.
Hope your silly season is not too silly and that you are all able to take some time off…..

What would you do with your beans?

I saw this on Jenty’s facebook feed today and I really wanted to share it with you. It really hit home (i.e I shed a few tears 🙂 ) I know I’m soft, we know this already!!

But it really just prompted my thoughts and feelings and the goings on for the past week.

I have a few things I’ve been wanting to say, so this may be a little bit of a garbled post, but stick with me, I’m hoping it‘ll all tie up when I’m done.

So what do you do with your remaining beans?

I know for sure that I spend WAY WAY WAY too much time worrying to the point that I worry that one day I’ll make myself sick with the worrying I do. So I resolve daily (because I fail daily) to spend more time enjoying life and less worrying.

Part of that enjoyment has been the time I’ve been spending with Daniel lately. Being a working mom I have very little time with my ginger during the week. But lately I have been spending a lot of time with him on the couch snuggling. Random I know but amazing!! For some reason he has been asking me to “la la” with him on the couch and I HAVE and you know what EVERY time I have , it has totally trumped the task I have had to leave , the dishes that have needed to wash or the supper I’ve needed to make (fancy that!!)

On Saturday we lay on the couch for an hour. I snuggled into him more that he into me and closed my eyes while we he watched cartoons.
He held my hand and few times even patted me, like I pat his back sometimes….. I reckon that was a bloody marvelous way to spend those “beans” 🙂

This morning we brushed teeth and sang the Barney brushing teeth song (You know, come sing with me: Oh, I’m brushing my teeth on the bottom ‘Cause I wouldn’t wanna say that I forgot em’ …..) and I relished in the fact that I got to dance and sing while I brushed my teeth. I think it was a great way to spend my brushing- teeth- beans (when was the last time you danced whilst brushing your teeth?)

So yip I’m resolving to spend my beans way better than I have been. You’re probably  wondering why I’m all floaty and smiley and shiny happy people on you guys …..maybe because the Ginger is also sleeping through…yes people you heard me correctly……. For about a week now……and I’m not sure if I should be posting this, I’m hesitant because I’m SOOOOOO scared I’m going to jinx it!

But yes, SHOUT IF FROM THE ROOFTOPS, WE HAVE SLEEP IN THE ABDO HOUSEHOLD!!

And you know what? I’ve forgotten what a flipping nice person I am when I’ve had sleep. I’m mean I’m really really nice 

While I’m on the things that hit you hard bandwagon….I thought I’d just end off with a few randoms I’ve picked up of FB, Twitter etc the past few weeks. Haven’t done one of these for a while.
** none of the pics are mine **

So here goes… my motto going forward

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I think my ginger and Daddy Abs are a good place to start…

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A lesson for me in the worrying department. Its not what others think of you but what you think of yourself.

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AND SOME HUMOUR TO END OFF WITH!

Hysterical for me…..Because I came “blame it on the bunny” but i just don’t run enough anymore …..

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Have a great Thursday everyone!

Excuse me while I find my mo-jo

 I’ve been pretty darn quiet I know…..and it’s not because I haven’t had anything to say it’s just that finding your mojo is hard work man!!!

It’s taken us a good three weeks to find our feet and along with the usual figuring out how long it takes to get to work and therefore timing Daniel’s drop off we’ve thrown the Passing of our dear Mally in the mix, which involved a trip to Hermanus last week for me and then also an incredibly hectic travel week for Rich. On top of that there  is the washing and cleaning, which up until we left Johannesburg I had the luxury of my darling helper Samu doing.

Then to top it all off there is the never-ending stress of the JOB! Yes people I am still jobless after searching for almost 6 months! Can you actually believe that Durban is that dead! I mean seriously I know there a bloody recession but I cannot believe that there are no middle management jobs in Marketing!! I was thrown a lifeline however yesterday and asked to stay on for July to finish off my projects here, so at least I have a few month weeks grace, but I won’t lie this is starting to wear thin.

But I’m continually challenged to “Let Go and Let God” and some days I’m very good at it and others not so much.

On a positive note….the Ginger after no sleep for three weeks has really seemed to have settled. He is now only waking once a night and even surprised us two days ago and again this morning by having his bottle in bed with us and then rolling over and having another kip for an hour. His mother not so much as I’m the type of girl who’s brain kicks in the moments my eyes are open. But it is still nice to lie in and beats the hell out of getting up at 4:45am!!!

Daniel is also obsessed with his Granny and Grandpa and run arms open wide when he sees them. They are affectionately called Gully and Baa baa. Its so lovely that they are able to spend a lot of time with him and that he really gets to know them. I treasure this time he has with them.

We spend a lot of time on the beach, because its there , its beautiful and it’s a free playground for the ginger. He loves the beach. Problem is he also loves being naked on the beach. Working on getting him to keep his clothes on 🙂 But for now I reckon it’s ok as he has his whole life to have to conform to society’s wrong and rights!

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Making friends has been tough one but we’ll get there. Last week I attended a birthday party of a kids in his class. The family have also recently moved down to Durbs from JHB and it was refreshing to see that hopefully we’ll be as lucky to have as many people in our home one day soon. I have also hooked up with an old school friend Belinda. Her son Connor is a month younger than Daniel. We do play dates regularly…..which is not entirely true as the boys don’t play together (they don’t do that at 20months) its more of a play date for us 🙂

I’m also going to visit Umhlali Methodist Church this Sunday. I’m hoping to find a church that both Rich and I can feel comfortable at. Rich is a catholic and I’m Methodist so we’re hoping to find an in betweener with a young congregation.

I’ve also realized that I have a REAL fear of monkeys. Ballito has quite the vervet monkey population. Its funny because they never bothered me before, but now that I have Daniel I am acutely aware of them and quite scared that they will attack him. I must research and see if my fear is valid or not, or if I’m totally overreacting….

Oh and last but not least… I’m thrilled it’s the winter solstice. Man I cannot get used how early it gets darks here. Its dark by like 5pm which is proving real hard to keep Daniel entertained before his 7pm bedtime….without TV!!! So roll on summer (although no doubt I’m going to be complaining about the humidity in due course – doubt I’m going to wax my first summer without some serious sweat! )

All in all we have settled in well and barring the stress of lack of job it has been such a great move for us.
Wishing you all an amazing weekend. Ours will no doubt involve a trip to the beach (ah gotta love the coast during winter)

The Move

Before I knew it the move had arrived!

It  came with loads of stress and resulted in me shoving stuff in random boxes. But we’re here. We’re finally in Durban!

The team at Biddulphs removal company were awesome! I not only were they my cheapest quote by far but all in all the move was a smooth one, albeit interspersed with a little chaos and a few hiccups.

They team of 6 guys arrived at 10am and by 1pm our house was a shell!
I kept it together until the van was about to leave, but then as I was saying goodbye I signed “thank you” to one of the guys who was moving us that was deaf. His face lit up with the most amazing appreciation as if to say: “someone has spoken to me” For the first time in the 5 hours , someone had spoken to him in his language and you could see the appreciation.

WELL!!!! I was tickets and quickly sat outside and had a good little cry, as only a women can do. It was finally over and our house was empty and quite frankly it made me a little sad L

Next was fetching the Ginger. Rich and I had chatted about whether we should show him the house or whether we should just leave. I was of the mindset that for him, even if he didn’t understand it, it was important for him to get closure and move onto the next step, so that even in his own little way he could understand that we were leaving and when he saw his stuff in his new room in Durban he’d get it. Rich said he wouldn’t care. Boys are so simple 🙂 Anyway we decided to show him and Rich was right I don’t think he cared. Well at least that’s what I thought until that night!

Anyway so we handed over the keys and headed to our mates Dave and Jen for our last night. It was awful as Daniel held me hostage in his room sitting next to his cot for over an hour. He was so unsettled and really upset. We got to bed at 10:30pm and by 2am I was up a and wide awake!! I left Rich to sleep until 3am because he was driving and then we got up and left. Daniel woke up when I transferred him into the car and was awake for 20min and fell asleep and I thought we were home dry. Until Villiers (100km out of JHB ) where we stopped for coffee. When I returned to the car my little ginger had completely lost the plot. I think he was so exhausted and didn’t know what was going on. Fortunately he passed out 20 min later and then woke at 6am After Villiers we pushed through all the way to Ballito. Daniel only had two wobbles after that. One when he woke and of course one when we were 20 min from home.

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Our first KZN sunset…well the start of it at least 🙂

So we survived the first stint and next was the unpacking. This was where we hit a stumbling block…..the truck eventually only arrived at our complex at 2pm that afternoon as they’d had trouble at the previous offload and were delayed. So they eventually finished unpacking at about 7pm! I had to get Daniel down so had to leave Rich with them at 5pm.

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The chaos that was Saturday morning. 6am!

Saturday I woke at 6am and headed straight to the house to start unpacking….and I unpacked and unpacked and unpacked. I sat down for the first time at 5pm that evening but at least the beds were made, the curtains hung and we were in our home.

The past two days have just been finishing up and making the house livable and I can now finally say we’re in! My mom has been incredible. She has really done a lot and we are so appreciative.

Daniel has taken serious strain and hasn’t really eaten for 3 days and sleep has been nightmare with a pearler on sunday night of 2 and half hours of crying followed by vomit…lots of it! But last night he finally slept through again and I’m hoping he has had a good day at crèche today. Its a lot for a little guy to take in.

Looking back, the pain of the move is still a very real one, but its good to be able to say it’s finally behind us!

What’s the saying? Onwards and upwards!!!

Hope your weekend was less stressful and hectic than mine 🙂