Mixed emotions

So the baby is coming next week and the Caesar is booked. In a week I will be a mom of two and IM PETRIFIED!!

I was trying to explain the feeling I have and the only way I can it explain it is it’s similar to your wedding day, cos it’s a fixed date. (Except I wasn’t petrified) You keep on saying: This time next week, or this time tomorrow… With a Caesar it’s like that and one would think that with my A type personality this would be my absolute dream, but it’s so not like that. I’m SO disappointed that this is planned and I am still hopeful that I’ll at least go into labour before next week. That brings on the whole debate of whether I try everything under the sun to get labour going naturally or if I just let it be and leave this one up to God.

I’m really battling to get my head around dropping the ginger off at school and then going off to the hospital to have a baby.

I fortunately have a week to get my head right because it’s really about a focus change because I need to focus on the excitement of meeting the Ablet.

It’s hard tho because daddy Abs and I both haven’t really processed this one in all the chaos of this year…. So best we catch a wake up!!

My second emotion is one of sadness. I’m very aware that in a week our dynamic of three will be drastically altered (for the better) but altered nonetheless. And I’m kinda sad about it. When I lie in bed with the Ginger and tickle his back or when he comes out his room and just wants me I realistically from next week will not be able to give that to him and our special times just the two of us will no longer exist. And through all of the kak this year I haven’t really savoured those moments as I should and now there are very few moments left.

So yah not what one would expect me to be writing on the impending arrival of our second child and not what I expected to be feeling. But hey feelings are neither write not wrong they just are.

Pregnancy Catch up (32 Weeks)

20 wks half way

20 weeks

23 weeks 2 (681x1024)

23 weeks

 

28 weeks (682x1024)

28 weeks

32 weeks (2) (683x1024)

32 weeks

 

Oh my!!!  I only realised now as I pasted the text into the browser that this update i WELL overdue. I posted when I was 17 weeks and i’m 34 now….. Whahah, well life it filled with good intentions 🙂

It’s been a hard pregnancy (this is relative, bearing in mind with the Ginger I breezed it) But it’s been hard for different reasons. I have really battled physically this time round.

You don’t get to put your feet up like you do when there are aren’t other kids around which would be a great help but I’ve also had a helluva few months at work. I actually saw this post on FB by a mate and I just had to steal it because it is such an apt indication of what it’s been like :

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But yah seriously its been a rough few months and I’ll be very glad when my maternity leave starts, which is mere weeks away now.

I’m 34 weeks can you believe it and its really starting to dawn on me and soon I won’t have my belly. Soon I won’t be able to feel the Ablet kick. I know I’ve battled this time round but I’ve loved being pregnant. Even though I have constant back ache and headaches I’m still very mindful of the fact that I’m so frikkin blessed to be able to carry this child and no one can take that away from me!!!

There are so many people that don’t get to carry a child, which I can only imagine must be devastating!!!! But I got to do it twice and for that I’m very greatful.

So as they say in Afrikaans ….”Min Dae” (few days) left and even in my sleepless uncomfortable state I thank God every day for this baby growing in my belly and also trying to enjoy the last few time I do this, before the “shop closes”