It’s been a week since our lives were completely turned upside down. A week since our family dynamic was changed forever….. A massive stroke of a loved one will do that to you and all of a sudden words such as aphasia, odema, CTA and broca enter your world.
It has been very much like I’ve been living a dream and whilst I’m very aware that it is my dad lying there I at the same time can’t comprehend it’s the same person with whom I was talking laughing and joking 7 days ago.
The stroke has been massive and it’s also been a roller coaster of ups and downs. Once thing we have all had to come to terms with is how small and slow the progress is. I’ve come to call the progresses LV’s ( little victories ) and right now I’ll take any!! God is teaching me such a lesson in patience and that this will be done in his time.
I continue to pray and believe wholeheartedly that my dad will recover and that he will hold this little baby in his arm for Christmas. I can’t accept anything less than that.
But it’s hard and so devastating to watch and I won’t lie I keep it together during the day for the sake of the ginger, Daddy Abs and my mom but at night I’ve had a few ugly man cries!!!
A few things I hold onto:
A colleague scolded me when I said to her I just want my dad at least to be able to speak. She said: Don’t limit God to what he can and cannot do. So I don’t. I expect the works from God and faithfully believe he’ll answer prayers.
Today the amazing Neuro who has taken over from the complete moron who has been treating my dad, said to me that whilst my dad’s type of stroke is in a very important part of the brain, if you could order the type of stroke you had, this is the one you’d want. So I hold onto that. After a week of negativity from the neuro telling us my dad was a no hope case to a man telling me that dad with the right sprit will be ok.
I hold into that…. More than that I cannot do.
But my heart aches and I miss my daddy, it’s as simple as that and this sucks!!