I must say first and foremost that this post was a lot more * woe- is- me* a couple of hours ago, but that has been substantially diluted by wine….I do however warn its not for reading if you’ve had a rough day yourself…..
I watched a movie a while back called ‘I don’t know how she does it’ It basically is a movie of a working mom and how you coordinate your life to get things done. I watched it before the Ginger was around and so I really had absolutely no clue and couldn’t really relate.
But alas I’m here and I just don’t know how other moms do it.
I’m in constant awe of one mom The Real Jenty. I hear every day how she blogs, tweets runs a home, does a full time day job and then on top of it all has a thriving photography business!! And she keeps it together!! And I barely manage to get through the day.
Let just describe my day:
- Up at 6am – wash hair only because it’s disgusting and I haven’t washed it since Saturday so I have no choice!
- Pack remainder of Gingers bag for school
- Get dressed, dry hair, put on make up
- 6:42am off to work
- Arrive work 7:14am
- Work full day
- Scan all invoices for Tax return (I’m being audited by SARS and have to show all medical invoices that Discovery didn’t pay – AND in the frikking tax year I have a baby!!)
- Phone Medical Aid and dispute claims they have part paid because they’ve got nothing better to do than to WASTE MY time…. But it’s R1400 which I’m owed, so worth the call
- Book follow up appointment for Daniel for his ears following his grommet op
- Then pull full day work
- Leave 4pm – I think, ok I’m finally on time, can get home, make supper , pack Ginger’s lunch for the next day and then get to Ginger early so I can have a few minutes quality time with him
- Sit in traffic and only get home 4:45pm. Rush to make a nice dinner, something different and also make some muffins for Ginger
- Result: I get to Daniel at 5:15pm ….in my books late because I now only have 45min to spend before he is asleep!!
- Get home, Feed, Bath, bottle.
- 6:30pm warm up supper, eat
- 7pm off to bedroom to pack for weekend away (Ginger & I – Daddy Abs is away on Golf tour)
- Also dye hair, and do nails
- 8:40pm sitting at computer doing admin and writing woe is me post!
And that’s an average day and I didn’t touch my list of things to do. At present the list is on 25 items.
And nevermind the fact that I have an entry for comrades and somewhere was going to attempt a run today….i instead gave up at 6:30pm knowing it would never happen and drank wine instead….and I wonder why I can’t lose weight!!
And I just don’t know where it gives????
If I get home early I use the time to dash around packing Gingers bag, or making supper, or tidying up, but then I sacrifice I fetching my baby early.
Can’t afford a maid more than twice and yet the house is still shambles in between so I have to tidy up.
Then there are all the little things.
- The budget I have to recon
- Filing of all out paperwork, bills etc
- The wide brimmed hat I want to make Daniel for summer
- Cooking the odd bulk spag bog or lamb stew so I don’t have to cook every night and will have something to freeze
- Maybe getting to the gym once in a while
- The SARS bloody audit doc I had to do ( took me 6 weeks)
- Printing photos for the three frames we bought four months ago
- Changing the light bulb in our bathroom (been out for 3 months)
- Hanging the hook behind the door so I can hang my towel up
- Phonecall to up our top up cover on our medical aid
- Fixing all the clothes such as buttons missing etc.
And I wonder to myself am I too hard on myself? Do I expect too much? Or do I just not cope with the mother/wife thing like others do? Because everyone around me seems to have it together and I don’t. Or are they not ‘real’ and don’t they really talk about how frikkin hard it is to get all this done…. Oh and on top of it there’s the layer of guilt that my problems are not nearly as bad as some of the other moms I read about so I should really just suck it up.
And then in all of this, where is there an ounce of ‘me’ time? Where is there a frikkin 5min to just be able to sit and breathe and I don’t mean a run (because dropping a lung on the road it not my idea of fun) I mean ME time. Time to just sit and read a book or maybe have your nails done or just be able walk through the shops at a leisurely pace?
Don’t get me wrong I don’t for one second hate my life or resent it. I absolutely love my Ginger and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but from the moment I open my eyes in the morning till the moment I close them at night I am thinking about other people and thinking, planning and knocking things off lists and I’m tired and I just wonder if it’s just the way thing are and if I expect too much thinking that maybe it should be a little easier.
To be honest, I’m in awe of many moms 😉 I don’t think I do anything amazing… because I drop many balls
You can only do as much as you can.
What Jenty said! I have learnt to let the small things go! Every day a few things MUST happen – kids must eat, they must get to school, they must go to sleep – the rest can wait if need be!! I do what I can.
Lol – don’t know how and where you find the time to do this Website of your private life and all your daily facebooking activities on top of the daily routine that all us moms can sing a song about…
maybe that is the time that you are missing for yourself just to breathe deeply as opposed to twittering it to the world
but on the other hand
maybe that is the time you take for yourself that you think you are missing but in fact are using for that which you feel you need: a steady communication stream to the outer world…
My advice for what it is worth – do not try to be too perfect and take as much time as possible to really enjoy intensively with your child (…ren), the most rewarding gifts in one’s life. Before you know what you will turn around and they are pretty grown up, then the time you feel you may be missing now will be there in abundance – you may start longing then for what you see as chaos now.